Wednesday, December 20, 2006


I do not want to sound hypocritical and untruthful but I guess, I have said enough. I finally decided to make a major shift in my life. I have a new job, in a new company and in a brand new world so different from what I've been used to . . . . I have rummaged around for love but I failed. But what can I do . . . that is life. I could be the most beautiful man in the world but if these things are really bound to happen, I guess that even the mighty Cher couldn't help it.

And as much as I wanted to continue this blog the way I kept it for the past year or so, I could no longer summon the energy and inspiration that I used to have. I know that if not all, most of you would be disappointed. So, bear with me. I’ll write this way as of the moment, until I can find the "badinggerzie" in me, again.

But life goes on . . . . . and my stories are still bound to be told . . . .

Picking up from my last confrontation with love and my "very well said" failure being dumped and all . . . I can say that the hairsplitting days were over and the moments of self-pity were already thrown in the train to the city of "forget-all-about-him". I could only grieve so much and if I'll let myself down for long, I would be a walking cadaver by now.

So, I let it all slip my mind and go through with my gay life.

And what is the best way to get over a very tormenting emotional pain but to replace it with a very excruciating and yet pleasurable physical exercise? And is there any other more convenient place to find it aside from the web?

I opened my G4M account after an era of disbelief because honestly, I'm not much of a fan of the well-chiseled abs, perfect smile and Adobe-Photoshopped pictures of guys in there but I told myself, "What the hell . . . . ."

And the search began . . . . .

I am a practicing homosexual since God knows when, I've been through both ends of the homosexual spectrum, I've seen all shapes and sizes . . . . and so I thought. As I browse through G4M, I can't help but wonder where in the f*cking world did these guys come from. I mean, don't get me wrong . . . . these are not just guys . . . . . that you see in your everyday life . . . . some of them didn't even cross my wet imaginations. I couldn't help but just clench my teeth because I know that that is the most I could do.

I want to be realistic . . . . so I just passed through their pages, really not thinking of hooking up with them, you know, because I don't want another anthology of heartache.

My own capacity for devotion is hypothetically focused on certain guys I saw walking the streets: strong-looking men who didn't aspire to conventional fame or happiness, who cleaved the air with definitive thoughtlessness. I looked as unobtrusively as possible at naive-looking guys who don't seem to exist, sullen college guys, and tough, cute boys who appear to be just in their post-puberty age but already thinking that they know everything.

I knew my interests were probably unhealthy. But they remained - they were the geography of my desire. A particular boy I saw sometime at the MRT with unkempt hair and an irritated expression could make me tingle by brushing my elbow with his sleeve.

And so . . . from one personal page to another . . . . I continued the search based from my "unhealthy" interests.

A couple of guys stood out.

One is a college student, studying somewhere in U-Belt, 19 years old and quite troubled and disturbed.

Another one looks boyish but he's already in his mid-twenties, working as a finance analyst, geeky as he may appear but based from his profile . . . I sensed depth and sincerity.

The third one is tough-looking, with the tattoo and a goatee going on, in a black sando with this "astig-ako" look plastered on his face. He looks dangerous but I guess still worth the try . . . . . anyway, I do not have any intentions of marrying him.

The fourth one is somewhat ordinary. 20+, lives with his folks, looking for a job, loner, loves music and reading books . . . . he'd prefer mind over matter.

And there were like a dozen more that I sent private messages to.

A part of me felt icky from what I just did but the majority said, there's really no harm in trying . . .

I wanted to surprise myself . . . . so I waited for like three days or so before I opened my account and saw a couple of messages. Most of which didn't make sense at all . . . and there were only two who made favorable responses: the ordinary, 20+ mind-over-matter guy and the geeky-finance-analyst.

Messages were exchanged to and fro until we came to the texting period, as what the usual routine would most probably dictate . . . . until a decision would be made to finally meet.

It was the 20+ mind-over-matter guy who first decided to meet me.


To be continued . . . . .

Friday, December 01, 2006


I just wanted to be happy . . . . to be genuinely happy. I couldn't ask for more. How hard could that be? Juggling more than one thing at a time has its drawbacks. But what could I do? I'm just one person . . . . I am taking care of a lot of responsibilities aside from myself. And there you go . . . my life has become a toilet duck being flushed down the drain.

I used to believe in the word love. The overrated, sugar-coated, backstabbing bitch called love. Not only once, not only twice, I've been a victim of it . . . countless of times, I end up staring at a ceiling ready to crack my skull open. Until the time came when I became sick and tired of it. I've became immune to its ridiculousness and its deceptive way to draw somebody into a pit full of double edged swords.

But then, once in a while, there's this imperceptible desire in me that I so wanted to ignore most of the times, but for as long as I don't pay attention to it, the more stronger it becomes. Maybe, it's human nature and there's nothing to do about it but to take action and God knows what will happen next.

I thought that I could find somebody that would complete me. I wanted somebody that could relate to me, somebody who has sense and could speak his mind. My past involvements with other guys consist of a patchwork of unwanted and wanted qualities that lead to nothing but a second-hand emotion. And then, somebody would step into my life . . . somebody that I could visualize as a person that would eventually accept and love me from dusk till dawn. But my charred optimism would only last to some extent until I realize that I’m dreaming wide awake because I wouldn’t stand a chance.

As of the moment, I'm writing this because I'm sadder than a stray kitten.

Some people would be afraid to admit this kind of things, but since that I have been totally honest in this blog, I might as well share my excruciating grief that I so painstakingly try not to feel.


For the past few weeks, I tried to figure out what did I do the last time that we saw each other. Because the communication just died abruptly as if I never existed. I thought that maybe perhaps, he's just busy and all since his schedule in his work changed every now and then. I tried texting him a couple of times but all I got are cold and unfeeling replies. I figured I must have done something. But I couldn't think of any.

And then, earlier this afternoon, due to the depressing post-storm atmosphere and the fact that I spent the whole day just lying in bed, I decided to get in touch with him.

"Why do I have this feeling that you are deliberately isolating yourself from me?" I asked.

"I dunno rin. Maybe we became busy. And I read ur latest post and ure with Ronald na so I didn't bother 2 bug u na," he replied.

I paused for a while, thinking of my previous post in this godforsaken blog.

Then I replied, "Hus Ronald? U let urself be botherd by that post? Im not with anybody naman. Im still hoping that ud give me a chance. Bt I dnt knw if ur rily willing."

After a couple of minutes, the bomb finally landed in Hiroshima, "I got a BF na. Sa totoo lang, I got dismayed by your last post, go figure y."

At a moment, I could've wished that the earth would just open up and eat me alive.

But what else could I do?

I'm in no position to force myself into someone, who maybe, just forced himself to entertain me, in the first place.

And so I said, "That's all what I needed to hear. Thanks for the time."

The butterflies in my stomach turned into grey and coarse moths drilling their way into my innards. The happy thoughts turned to nightmares like sandcastles meticulously built in hours and just washed away by a monstrous wave in a blink of an eye. Thunderclouds overcast their dark shadows on my rainbow of hopefulness.

The spoonful of sugar turned into a bitter concoction that made me want to throw-up.

Thursday, November 16, 2006


Sa totong buhay lang eh witchelles ko talaga betchay ang magcelebrate evur ng birthday. As in . . . kasi parang witchelles ko naman betchay ang concept na mega-happy ka na another year has gone by and eynimomentzzz eh pakyonti na nang pakyonti evur ang mga araw na ilalagak mey ever sa mundo. Meaning . . . pa-nearness of you na nang panearness of you . . . ang the momentz of ligwakan portion . . . tegibums is just around the corner!

In total fairness kay Atty Katrina Legarda eh naloka naman akey nang naloka, dahil ni witchelles ko man na-organize ng maayos ang sarili kong birthday evur. Dalawang back to baklang projects with Nickelodeon and Honda ang niratrat ng beauty kez first and second week of November. Ni witchelles ko nga learn kung dugo pa ba ang nanalaytay sa mga ugat kez eh puro C2 na at Lipovitan Ira. Pakshet!

Sa una eh betchay kong mag-more Government, since super feel at home but then witchelles ko kineri ang budjey na super-quote ni friendship Josh. Nakakadugo ng matres at parang baka after ng party eh malaglag na lang bigla ang mga nagningningan kong balakang!

Hanggang sa may nirekomenda ang isang friendiva kez sa workaloo na si Roxanne sa isang simplicity of culture na lugar ever sa Kamagong.

So hayun na nga, 2 days before D-Day eh inatakan namen ang bar-baran portion. Isa siyang payak na lugar . . . as in . . payak kung payak itu . . . ang may-jori ever eh isang guitarista ng isang nag-flopchinang rock band some one-hundred years ago. Kakaloka. So, more rock-rockan portion ang eksena doonchie . . . as in . . . na parang dinaanan ng sampung super thunderstorm at wala silang ginawa . . . .so very butch! Ang sakit sa bangs! Muntik nang dumugo ang mga bagang ko. But then, ala nang choice . . . at well, maganda naman and fair ang quote na ginivesung niya sa ‘kin good for sixty utawsingbelles with light lafang and more and more and more na nomu. So go na lang ng go! Join na lang ng join!

The night itself eh wala na rin akong panahong makapagpaparlor pa dahil sa sobrang kangaragan. Imagine, that Saturday morning eh saka lang natapos ang Honda event. So . . . less ang preparation sa pagpapabyonda. Shower na lang ang naging katapat.

Early evening eh I had dinner with my closest friends sa CafĂ© Bola . . . . Claude, in his most behaved mood (dahil nga daw moment ko yon) and Kiara, na kumain ng isang galong itim na eye liner para lang sa 80’s motiff ko! Ninamnam namin ang sinigang na lechon na may pakwan ni Margarita Fores! Si Rica naman eh nagmiganju . . . nag-meet lang kami earlier that afternoon para lang igivesung niya ang nyexpensive niyang gift sa ‘kin na shubangong pang-menthol! At bukod don eh naisipan pa niyang mag-sponsor ng sampung cases ng berangju. Ohhhh . . . laban kayo? Bisi-bisihan lang ang lola Rica ko dahil if I’m not mistaken eh meron siyang bagong karir . . . but ang nakakalokang factor don . . eh ewan ko rin kung paniniwalaan ko siya . . . . HIV+ ang bago niyang karir. Tumbling! (Saka na lang nating pagkwentuhan ang eksenang itu . . dahil as I said . . . moment ko toh! Hahahaha)

From Greenbelt eh direcho na kami sa venue, dahil may mga naunang mga bisitang witchelles ko learn kung saanchienabelles nagmula.

Pag-atak ko doonchie eh may-I-present tense na ang mga mudra, sisiterbelles, brotherbelles, friends ng sisterbelles at friends ng friends ng brotherbelles ng mga nyolaga naming bagets ng supermau. Wicthelles ko na-foresee na kelangan ko pa lang mag-entertain ng mga thundercats na lafangan ang habol.

Anyway, andun na sila . . . . . medyo close din naman sila sa ‘kin one way or the other . . . so mega-palafang na lang.

Hanggang sa lumalilm na nang lumalilm ang gabi at nagdatingan portion na ang mga old and new friendivas from all chapters of my life!

Dumating din ng maaga ang boss ko, si Ursula, with her super hottie bagtes lover na napulot niya kung saan mang gaybar. Kakaloka. Siya lang naman ang may pinaka-daks na boses doonchie na parang siya ang hostess ng party ever.

Ininvite ko si Mr. Spoonful of Sugar. Dumating naman siya with 3 other friends. Kaso di rin ako masyadong nakasegway sa kanya dahil unang-una eh nung dumating sila eh parang humiwalay na ang kaluluwa ko sa katawan ko sa sobrang kalasingan at pangalawa eh super jiyaers portion din akembang sa mga kajointlackles niyang friendivas.

Meron pa kong isang unexpected guest na dumating . . . . na-meet ko siya sa Subic ‘nung ginawa namin yung Subic Bay Pride, isa siya sa mga prime movers ng “Ang Ladlad” at in fairness ‘nung mga time sa Subic na iyonchie eh medyo nakakiligan ko siya at mejo kumibot din ang natutulog kong mga tinggil. Akala ko talaga eh witchelles na kami magsa-sight sight ever. So nasurprise naman daw ako sa presence niya with matching lips to lips pagdating na buti na lang witchelles nasight ni Mr. Spoonful of Sugar (sana).

Pero ang pinakanakakaloka eh ang pagdating ni Raymond. Syet! Banggitin ko talaga ang pangalan niya da ‘vah? Anyway, si Raymond naman eh matagal nang friend ni Kiara. Matagal ko na rin siyang kakilala at matagal ko na rin siyang krases pero wala lang chances and opportunity kaya witchelles ko ma-pursue ang kung anuman sa kanya. Naloka na lang ako nung nagtext-sami siya sa ‘ken ang few days before my birthday to greet me in advance. At nag-meet pa kami 2 days before. Mireseng suyudin niya ang Pasay para lang hanapin akey hey hey hey! Super ask pa siya kung anechiwa raw ang betchay kong gift from him, chika ko naman eh witchelles naman akong materyosong tao . . . na maski presence lang niya eh kering-keri na . . . then, sabay hiret siya . . gusto mo sarili ko na lang ang i-gift ko sa yo . . . naloka naman daw ako don . . sabay banat na . . . gusto mo eh ibalot ko pa . . . . kakaloka . . . hanggang sa sinakyan ko na lang . . chika ko na wag na niyang ibalot dahil huhubarin ko rin naman! Hahahaha. Bastos ko noh!? Sorry! Ang pagkakatrina talaga eh waing jinijiling panahon at walang jinijiling oras.

So, hayon na nga . . . . more nomu na sa party . . . di ko na alam kung pano ko hahatiin ang katawan ko dahil ang guests ko eh deadma sa isa’t isa.

Hanggang sa nagkaroon na ng elimination portion at natira na lang talaga ang mga super-closest sa ‘kin . . . HighSchool friends, si Grace at si Francheska, friends from former work . . si Madonna . . . si Kiara, si Claude . . . at higit sa lahat . . nagpaiwan si Raymond.

No holds bar na ang labanan sa inuman at sa kantahan . . . pati kami ni Raymond eh no holds bar na ren . . dahil na rin siguro sa sobrang kakatihan ko at bunsad ng pagdaloy nang kakaibang mala-demonyong tadkyak ng alkohol eh hindi ko na namalayan na pinagjujubad ko na si Raymond sa harapan ko infront of the others . . . . at ang luko-loko naman eh walang patumanggang may-I-follow.

Hanggang sa hayon . . . nauwi din sa uwian ang lahat. Witchelles ko na nga learn kung paano pa akey hey hey nakajuwi nung mga oras na yon . . .

Friday, November 03, 2006


It was not so much of a date actually . . . . one afternoon, I just so happened to be in the Greenbelt area. I texted him, it's just one of those random texts that I sent him when I feel like blabbering things happening in my day to day activity (as if there's much to blabber about). It was already late in the afternoon, I thought that he'd be drowsing off already 'coz he has this Eastern Standard Time bodyclock being a call(center)boy. I'm not even expecting anything. And then, he replied . . . he was in G4 playing arcade.

Over the boiling coffee of McCafe with a slight wind caused by a mild drizzle . . . I smiled. The dark clouds covering the afternoon sky was definitely in contrast to my "Sunny Sunday Morning" feeling. I could've felt like a colegiala being tickled in the clitoris for the first time.

It was a weird smile, I must admit. Suddenly, my monster of a production assistant looked at me and asked if I'm okay.

"I'm more than okay," I replied.

Then I started to compose my text message for HIM.

We have been planning for a meet-up (or date, or whatever you wanna call it) for weeks and our schedules wouldn't agree with each other. Me, being a slave of the entertainment and the events industry . . . on-call 24/7 . . . and him being . . . a . . oh well . . . . a callcenter boy. There had been a lot of re-scheduling and a lot of cancellations . . . it was like fixing the sched of Cher in her 4th Farewell concert and Barbra's ressurection in her current US tour.

Anyway, that very afternoon, the inevitable happened.

I told him where exactly I was and that I was supposed to meet with a client but after two and half hours, there was still no sign of any client. I could've made use of that wasted time bringing my rollers and blow-dry and fixing myself a Farrah Faucet hair, it was such a waste of time not until . . . . he told me that he'll drop by.

Suddenly, I felt that most of my blood left my head and went to God knows which part of my body. I don't know if it's because I was ecstatic that I would be finally meeting him again and that I would be able to cast my eyes on those beautiful eyes, well-accentuated jaws, the five-o'clock shadow and not to mention that "kutis-kamagong skin" or if it's because of the fact that I haven't had a decent sleep for the past 48 hours and that it would be a total understatement if I said that I looked like shit.

Anyway, there was no turning back . . . . it's either face the fact that I looked like shit and I had the guts to meet him or I had the guts to meet him and I looked like shit.

After a couple of minutes . . . . I guess that was the longest fifteen-minute wait of my entire life, I saw him from afar. I waved at him, I stood up and headed to the entrance of McCafe to greet him. I was just able to make a few steps when I heard the high-pitched voice of my client blaring at me like a wild goose whose feathers are being plucked at that instant. I just smiled and whispered to Bing, my monster of a production assistant to accommodate our gargantuan client for a while and that since she's late, I have to attend to a high-priority appointment.

I left the two monsters at peace for a while as I approached him and shook and his hand. My god! I haven't seen that face for a long time and I could've sworn to God that that face fucking haunted me in my (wet)dreams for years.

We went out of McCafe and began to walk. It was those kinds of walks that could've seemed senseless at first because of not having any directions at all but in the end, it was a kind of walk . . . . that . . . pardon me for sounding so Mandy Moorish . . . is worth remembering.

We went around Greenbelt in that dark afternoon and talked about a lot of stuff. There were a lot of catching up and a lot of clarifications because of us having a not-so-verbal relationship in the past.

And we walked and walked . . . . .

In ordinary days, I could curse that walk . . . but in that special day . . . those meters (or kilometers) are worth the walk.

I really do not know why I'm writing so much about a fucking walk but anyway, I really couldn't hide the fact that I enjoyed that very short time with him.

And then, we both decided to see each other again.


My life has become an emotional rollercoaster for the past few months, that is also one of the reasons why I haven't really attended to this blog of mine for quite a while. Being a brother, a son . . . working your fucking ass night and day . . . having friends who sometimes drag you to their misery . . . . having a fucking boytoy who actually thought that he could milk you like a cow . . . is not so much of an easy task to do.

And sometimes, when we feel down . . . and when we feel that there's no one else left in this world aside from your-self-pitying-crybaby-suicidal-self . . . we look for a little spark of hope somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light, as James Ingram and Linda Rondstadt once said.

And then, you hold on to something immaterial . . . . to a faith you've lost long ago (or you decided to throw away).

I no longer know what I'm saying here. But I need to do my segue already or this will bore the shit out of you guys . . . . .

As our dear supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Mary Poppins once said . . . . a spoonful of sugar helps the medicince go down . . . however bitter life is . . . . however painful the last night fuck is . . . . we could still look at the brighter side of things.

If you feel REJECTION staring at you in the face . . . . . no worries . . . . we can all get hold of OLAY + . . . to battle the seven signs of aging! At least . . REJECTION can stare on a seemingly not-aging beautiful face.


Another year will be added to my lifeline this coming November 11. I am hosting a party that very same date . . . . . . I want you guys to show your love and be with me on SATURDAY !!!!!

It will be a mini-event with a mini-walk-off of some of the most sought-after models in the industry. And also . . . a "Thank You Party" of one of my very special friends who left the "house" a couple of weeks ago.

This invitation is open to everyone . . . . big or small . . . gay, straight, or straight-pretending to be gay just for the fun of it or gay-pretending-to-be-straight-for-no-reason-at-all or whatever . . . . .

If you're coming, just shoot me an email so that I could send the invitation to you!


Friday, October 13, 2006


As most people would dare notice, this is my first entry after a hundred and so years of hiatus and that this is somewhat or rather completely different entry as opposed to my previous ones.

I've been busier than a carabao during plowing season these past few months because the final quarter of the year is just around the corner and projects keep on coming.

Anyway, this entry is dedicated to myself! I hope I like it! Echoz! Seriously, this entry is especially for a person that is yet to become a very important part of my life (I Hope!!!! I'm so conceited.. Harharhhar!) And he's probably reading this right now.

I have met this person a few years back when my life consisted of basically nothing aside from the fact that I was in my self-discovery phase and my world revolved around deviance, self-expression, pride, marijuana, alcohol, endless parties, egoistic exercises, and conceiving a grand masterplan to eradicate the entire human existence among others. I was lost, and I hate everything that walks, talks, and those who do not put on blush-on properly and have no idea of how valuable SPF 15 is. Anyway, going back to the guy, we met during some gathering that I now find so ridiculous, I couldn't even write anything about it.

To be honest, I had a huge crush on him . . . as in huge . . . but I was so self-absorbed to even notice or acknowledge my attraction to him.

He was simple, quiet but then even before, I could sense that he has a deeper and captivating personality. What I could remember, if my memory serves me right, is that he had this certain fun-loving yet enigmatic aura that made me gravitate toward him as a blackhole sucks everything in its vicinity. I could also remember that I used to keep his picture in my wallet. I don't know how I got hold of that, I don't know if I asked him for that, or I asked somebody to ask him. That I really can't remember. Anyway, it was this passport size picture, though how unflattering it may sound, it still gives me this hair-raising, jaw-clenching-hands-clasping-on-a-table moment of bliss. However, I lost my wallet, we lost communication and there goes the bliss (as if there was really a communication). And oh! By the way, at those times, he had this not-so-uber-hot but . . . . still hot lover whom compared to me is like comparing a butterfly to a moth.

So, for a couple of years, he was just part of my selective memory stashed somewhere in the attic of my subconcious together with the boa feathers and the off-shoulder shirts. . . . .

And then . . . I discovered G4M. Now I know, it sound sooooooo stereotypical but hey! A gay's got to do what a gay's got to do. And besides, I do not want to be stuck in the siberia of cyberworld, forever writing in this blog, while knitting all the flags of the 266 countries of the world.

It was so funny 'coz I came across this forum or thread or whatever the hell you wanna call it - that talks about blogs, gay blogs for that matter. I was surprised to see that some guys recommended badinggerzie. And then, I saw this certain guy in the thread, 'coz they have their pictures also posted there, who sparked a tingling effect in my stomach.

He said there, "I like badinggerzie . . . "

"What the hell," I said to myself and doubleclicked his profile and sent him a message. By the way, due to privacy reasons, I am usng a different name in G4M.

My message to him goes like, "badinggerzie likes you too."

Okay fine!!! Guilty as charged! You can shoot me in Luneta if I won't say that the reason I flirted with him was that I liked his picture and secondly, he has an interest with me (badinggerzie). Sometimes, it gets confusing when you have multiple personalities online. Anyway, I did not read his profile.

After a few days when I sat again in from of my computer with a smile plastered on my face, the same smile that a seven year old girl probably has on her birthday waiting for that surprise gift, which she knows will be a barbie doll, togther with a barbie house, an entire spring collection, a barbie car and of course, Ken . . . . I opened my G4M account and it says there somewhere that I have a message and that I have to go to my message inbox to read (Duh?! I might be gay but Im not stupid to look for my message in the "edit profile folder")

Anyway, the message was from him. I opened it as excited as the sexless jollibee.

The message from him was: "How did you know?"

Then, I smiled, the bridget jones smile and sent a reply: "Let's just say that I am very close to him . . . . "

After that, we had a couple of message exchanges that lasted for about a week or so until he decided to give me his number.

I texted him . . . now, it was more convenient, I do not have to wait for days for a reply.

On our text phase . . . he mentioned that I am somewhat familiar to him. (At this time, I haven't recognize him yet as the guy that I used to have a huge crush on). And he asked if we have already met each other, then, he asked me if I know this certain "friend", he dropped a name, and from there . . . I knew that he was HE whom I owe a lot of my faceless wetdreams that has been bothering me these past few years! Echoz!

Yeah! That's him! That was the guy that I was looking at during those "gatherings" from afar.

After a few more grueling text exchanges for days . . . . . he asked if he can ask me out . . . .

To be continued......

Sunday, September 17, 2006



So, I just wanted you to know that Im still alive, breathin and kickin and im still GAY.

Sobrang bisi-bisihan lang ako this past few weeks and witchelles akez makakorva ditangchie.

Also, a very special friend of mine got in sa Pinoy Dream Academy kaya witchelles ren ako magkandaugaga.

OKay. I promise you guys. Ill be right back as soon as Im free na.

I love you all. Be fabulous always.

PS. Sinong nagwatch ng COsmo bachelors this year? Anu ang maichichika nyo?

Saturday, August 12, 2006


Bago ang lahat eh nais ko sanang magbigay ng isang live update!

Sa mga oras na itekla eh nasa Subic akembang. Halos dalawang linggo na ang beauty ko ditey. Dahil nga may magaganap na GAY PRIDE ditey sa AUGUST 18! Kaya super-invite akez sa mga kachokara na join lang ng join at go lang ng go!

Nagsimula ang lahat nang nahire ang company ko to do a fashion show in Subic last June. Nabetan nila ang eksena namin and asked me to do another event in Subic. This time in a much larger scale, syempre eh for more tourism ecklavu ang labanan.

So . . . I came up with an idea.

The first time I met with the higher officials ng Subic Bay, with a hangover, and armed only with one specimen poster . . . . ang naging unang bungad ko for that meeting eh, "Is it okay to be GAY in SUBIC BAY?" Naloka ang mga officials, who were the typical daddy-yo beaurocrats. Wa ispluk ang mga lolo ko for a moment.

Hanggang sa may isang nag-ask kung why am I asking that question . . .

"Coz if its yes," sabay labas ng poster, "I'm giving you the biggest event this place would experience. I give you SUBIC BAY PRIDE."

And it all rolled down the hill.

Bet nila ang concept. Even though that it is not summer but still . . . . the target market would be . . . who else . . . kung hindi mga kapatid sa pananampalataya.

In fairness, ngayon ko lang narealize na in my years of experience working in productions and events eh I never really did a GAY EVENT. The closest siguro is my college production of "Hanggang Dito na Lamang Po at Maraming Salamat."

Aside from doing Third Sex in the City na kung minsan eh witchelles ko na rin naman napapanindigan dahil sa sobrang kangaragan eh I thought of something that can mix business with pleasure. This is my way of contributing to the community.

The plan is to have a pride parade in the afternoon of the 18th. And a total kick-straight-ass party in the evening. We have tapped some of the best impersonators and gay singers to bring to life our lifelong dreams of becoming Madonna or Cher even for one night. Merong ding fashion show na magaganap. Oh well, di basta-basta fashion show itu kundi STRIP FASHION SHOW featuring the industry’s top ramp models donned in sizzling clothes from CHILI. Well at first, my idea is TOPS&BOTTOMS, but since tinarayan kami eh deadma na sa pagkajoin. Im still waiting if Government would agree to send some of their powerful Gogo Boys to grace the event. ICON agreed to participate in the event. Siyempre haves din ng DJs for the hardcore clubbing part and since the theme of the event is Rainbow Carnivale, of course magkakaroon ng Star of the Night.

Tapos hayon na nga. We targeted major corporate sponsors and some non-government organizations that would catch the attention of Manila Gays and actually drag them to Subic. That was one of our major problems. Local marketing was easy, the dilemma was inviting the right more people from outside Subic.

Then halfway through the preparations we received a call from Danton Remoto, whose heading "ANG LADLAD" (that might actually run for patylist representation this coming elections) and expressed his interest in participating in the said event and actually lead the Pride Parade.

As of the moment eh confirmed na ang ANG LADLAD to be present for the event. Im expecting a positive answer din from UP BABAYLAN.

Mostly, I dont write specific things about my work. But since, purong kabaklaan itekcla at ang event na ito eh sobrang malapit sa puso . . . IM WRITING THIS TO ASK FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

Im extending my invitation to all the utawsingbelles na super-read ng Third Sex in the City, bakla man . . .tomboy man . . . misis o mister man . . . . virgin o hindi. I hope that you could come and participate in this event (or at least help in spreading the news! I believe that the most effective form of publicity is word of mouth, but of course, it’s the best when it is the word of gay)

I guarantee that you’ll enjoy this. This would be the first biggest gay pride celebration held outside Manila. We have convinced all the hotels and restos in Subic to DROP their rates from 20 to 50 percent and they agreed.

Now, if there are still active organizations out there who might be willing to participate . . . I can offer a free transpo and hotel accommodations for 3 nights and 2 days.

If we can do a successful PRIDE in SUBIC then, the rest will follow! Patunayan natin sa buong bansa na powerful talaga ang mga badinggerzie!




Tuesday, August 01, 2006










Bayfront Hotel & Restaurant
Standard Room - Php2, 125netInclusive of breakfast for two.10% on food charges (weekdays only)

Subic Homes
2 Bedrooms – Php 3,900net3 Bedrooms – Php 4,500net4 Bedroom – Php 5,100net

Casablanca (Racerock)
Family Room – Php1, 800netTwin Room – Php1, 600net

Legenda Hotel
Superior Room – Php3, 200netDeluxe Room – Php3, 800net20% on food & beverages

Grand Seasons Hotel
Superior Room – Php2, 800netDeluxe Room - Php3, 200net20% on food & beverages

Legenda Suites
One Bedroom Suite – Php2, 800netTwo Bedroom Suites – Php3, 800net20% on food & beverages

Magellan’s (VASCO’S)
Regular – Php1, 500netFamily – Php2, 100net

Subic International Hotel
Deluxe Room – Php2, 500netExtra Person – Php650netSuperior Room – Php4, 000netExtra Person – Php750net Inclusive of plated breakfast for two.

Vista Marina
Double/Twin Deluxe – Php2, 900netJunior Suite – Php3, 700netExecutive Suite – Php4, 200netInclusive of breakfasts for two, FREE use of swimming pool, FREE use of internet & coffee inside the room.

Courtyard Inn
Superior Room – Php2, 042.50netDeluxe Room – Php2, 660.00netFamily Suite – Php3, 562.50netInclusive of breakfast for two.

Camayan Beach Resort
Standard Room - Php3, 960netInclusive of breakfast for two, FREE access to beach, and 25% discount at Ocean Adventure.

Boardwalk Inn
Standard Room – Php1, 600net (Weekdays)Php1, 800net (Weekends)


Gerry’s Grill
10% discount for cash payment5% discount for card payment

Cocolime Restaurant
5% discount

Olongapo Food Corp.
20% discount on food

Subic Bay Aqua Sports
20% discount for their Restaurant

===== To verify those who avail of the discounts, an SBMA discount card should be issued to them. Please ask the Toursim Office when you call for your Hotel Reservations about the discount card. =====

Rit’z Tropical Spa
20% discount on Spa services for Filipino residents only

Zoobic Safari Corp.
Php295/adult and Php195 for kids

Ocean Adventure
20% Park admission to hotel guest and other special interactive programs such as Dolphin Encounter.


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Friday, July 28, 2006



Isang umaga, kasabay ang tostadong maling at 3-day old na gardenia eh biglang tumalak si Kiara:

"Mamah . . . . sa sobrang kabisihan mo at sa tinagal-tagal mong nawala dito sa balaybay mo eh wizzels mo nang nalalaman ang mga kaganapan dito."

"Baket? Ano ang latest chismis?" shornong kez with matching taas-kilay.

Wala nang ibang tao sa baler kundi kaming dalawa na lang, pero super sighteous pa ren si Kiara sa paligid na as if merong mga ispiyang umaali-aligid. Binaba niya ang siyensi na hawak at hininaan ang apoy sa ginagawa niyang kamote-que. Shumorbi siya sa kinajujupan kez at pabulong na shumorlak:

"Hindi ko sure ha . . . pero feeling ko eh there’s something fishy goin on . . . "

Napatingin lang akez sa kesame. Wa ispluk . . . .

"Anoba? Hindi mo ba nafi-feel?"

"Ang alen?", chika ko. In fairness, witchelles ko talaga ma-feel . . . . may pagkasanib pa naman ang baklang Kiara paminsan-minsan.

"Ang brudra mo . . . "

"Anong chismis sa brudra ko?"

"At ang alaga mo . . . . "

Sa chinika ni Kiara eh bigla ko tuloy nalunok ang nilapsalauriat kong maling nang walang nguyaan portion.

Pero . . . I doubt pa ren ang drama ko.

Hanggang sa . . . .

"Alam mo ba kung sino ang nagpa-plantsa ng mga damit ni Bunso kapag nagmamadali siya at late na siya sa raket niya?"


"Alam mo ba kung kanino siya nagpapamasahe kapag masakit ang mga kasu-kasuan niya?"

Deadma another . . . .

"Alam mo ba . . . . . kung kanino siya nagpapalagay 'nung body-scrub na binili mo sa body-shop na amoy kamanyang . . . "

Teka . . . . .

"Truelsa Clench mamah! At wala nang iba . . . . "

I doubt pa ren . . . chika ko sa sarili ko. Sabay bera kay Kiara, "Baka naman more frienship lang. Kasi naman e sila lang ang magka-edad dito noh. Sila lang ang pedeng maka-relate sa isa't isa. Masyado ka lang malisyosa, bakla ka!"

Isang umaatikabong "I DOUBT" ang tinalak sa 'kin ni Kiara, sabay tayo, talikod at sabay balik sa pagluluto ng kamote-que.



Alas-onse na ng gabi.

Nakalatag na ang sofa-bed ni Bunso sa sala.

Lahat kami eh nakabalagbag sa sofa-bed na iyonchie habang super watch ng SAKSI.

Nagpakuwento lang ako kay Bunso kung anechiwa ang mga latest chismis sa mga raket niya. The usual . . . merong isang talent manager na bet siyang sulutin sa 'ken . . . at mega-ligaw sa kanya. Chika ko naman sa kanya eh wag siyang magpadala sa mga ganoong drama dahil baka hada lang ang habol nila sa mura at makinis niyang shortawan.

Mega kuwento lang si Bunso. Nakahiga siya sa tabi ko. Sa tabi ko naman eh si Kiara. Habang ang aking matimtimang shofated eh naka-upo lang sa isang silya at super ming-ming lang sa isang tabi.

Biglang tumayo si Bunso. At shinonggal niya t-shiret niya, para ma-sight ko raw ang mga improvements sa shortawan since nung inenroll ko siya sa Slimmer's World Pasay Road (plugging . . . . )

So ang natira na lang na saplot sa bortawan niya eh ang maigsing boxers na parang may pinagkakatagong kuting sa loob.

Keri naman . . . haves nga ng improvement sa abs . . . sa chest . . . . sa tricep . . . etc. Pero di pa masyadong hinog.

"Tingin nga . . . . " nasira bigla ang konsentrasyon ko nang narinig ko ang shorfated kong tumalak at lumapit kay bunso.

Nagkahulihan naman kami ng tingin ni Kiara habang pinipindot-pindot ni Nicanor ang abs ni Bunso.

Hindi ko kinaya ang eksena at may-I-stand akez at atak sa kitchen to get water. May-I-follow naman si Kiara.

Habang super nomu akez ng borbeg eh parang uwak si baklang naghihintay ng dagang dadaan. Ineexpect niyang may itatalak ako. Pero wa akong talak.

"Oh. Mamah? Ngayon? Sinong malisyosa sa 'ming dalawa ng kapatid mo?"



Alas-dos ng madaling araw . . . .

Kararating ko lang sa baler. Umatak agad akez sa kwartobelles kez. Parang everybody is asleep na.

Pag-enter ko sa kwartobelles ko eh missing in action si Kiara.

Lumabas uli ko. Sight sa sala.

Super sight akez sa nakahilata sa sala.

Si Kiara.

Ginising ko si bakla.

Shinornong ko kung nasan si Bunso at kung baket hindi pa dumadating.

Chika na bakla, na maaga naman daw dumating at witchelles niyang na-felt na umisquierda.

So, ang tanong ng bayan . . . nasan si Bunso?

"Do the rounds, mamah!?" chika ni Kiara.

Tumayo si Kiara at dahan-dahan kaming naglakad paatak sa kwarto ni Nick.

Bubuksan ko na sana ang shintuan, but then . . .

Biglang . . .

PInigil ako ni Kiara.

Pabulong na chika ni bakla, "Wiz ka naman join sa pagka-thriller. Hear muna naten . . . "

Gumetching ng baso si bakla. Nilagay sa tenga at nilapat ang puwet ng baso sa shintuan ng kwartobelles ni Nick.

"Ano?" shornong kez.



"Shuhimek . . . sound proof yata."

Nilagay ko na ang kamay ko sa doorknob. Sight kay Kiara. "Go . . . " signal ni bakla.

PInihit ko . . .

But then no . . . .

Naka-lock . . .

Bumalik kami sa sala for more balitaktakan.

"Baka naman wala si Bunso don," talak ko.

"Eh pano kung andon . . . . " talak ni Kiara.

"Harsh . . . "

Hinla ko si Kiara paatak ng laundry room.

Sa laundry roon eh may fire escape.

Jinuksan namin ang jintana ng fire escape at pinagkasya ang mga sarili namin sa majiit na jutas. And to think na nasa fifth floor kami ng isang gusali ha.

More mission impossible ang drama ng dalawang baklang dahang-dahang pagilid na naglalakad sa isang kakaramput na pasimano sa gilid ng gusali para lang makarating sa bintana ng kwartobelles ni Nicanor.

Pagdating namin sa bintana area . . . eh closing time naman ang mga bintana. Pero sight namin ang sillhoute sa loob ng kwartobelles pero di pa ren enough yon para ma-learn naming andon din sa kwartobelles si Bunso.

Tinry namin isa-isa yung jintana pero nakalock . . . hanggang sa dulong bintana . . . . pag-push kez eh gumalaw.

"Go mamah!" talak ni Kiara.

Dahan-dahan ko pinhit ang bintana. Haves ng slight wrong dahil biglang lumangitngit ang mga turnilyo.

Mega-freese naman kami ni Kiara . . . . . sight namin ang anino sa loob na gumalaw. Automatically eh bigla kaming napaluhod ni Kiara sa kakaramput na pasimanong kinatatayuan namin na parang suddenly eh haves kami ng powers ni Spiderman dahil hindi kami matinag-tinag sa pagkakakapit sa dingding.

Naghintay pa kami longer ni Kiara, tsaka siya sumilip. May maliit na awang na yung jintana na keri-keri nang masight ang inside story.

"Haves mamah!" chika ni Kiara.

Kag-sight naman akey hey hey hey.

Haves nga ng dalawang utaw sa kama.

Para kaming mga tikling na nagmadaling bumalik sa fire escape, jumosok sa laundry room at papasok sa baler.

Direcho sa shintuan ng kwartobelles ni Nick. And sabay katok.

Another rounds of katok . . .

Another round of katok . . .

Then nag-open sesame ang shintuan.

"Baket?" talak ni Nick na parang hindi pa totally gising.

"Wala lang. Chini-check ko lang kung andito ka."

"Himala . . . . "

"Sinong kasama mo 'jan?"


"Okay lang naman na patulugin mo 'jan si Bunso as long as . . . "

"Hey wazzup?"

Napataligod kami ni Kiara at na-sight namin si Bunso, fully clothed.

"What are you doing there?"

"I just arrived?"

"But you're here . . . " habang mega turo akez sa shortobelles ni Nick.

"No, Im not there. Im here."

Napaharap uli ako kay Nick.


PInilit kong juksan ang shintuan, napatabi si Nick at pag-sight ko sa loob eh may isang lulurking naka-briefanggus lang ang nakahilata sa kama.

Wrong number . . . . .

"Kaklase ko," chika ni Nick. Sabay balagbag ng shintuan ara.


Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Humigit-kumulang na isang buwan akong nawala sa buhay-talaan na ito. Bukal sa pusong paumanhin ang aking inihahatid sa mga utaw na super waiting-in-vain ang drama sa mga kachervahang maaari kong italak dito.

Sa loob ng isang buwan na ito ay maraming kachervahang naganap sa aking buhay-bakla. Pero sa mga kachervahang itekla ay may isang namumukod-tanging istorya ang nais ko sanang ibahagi sa aking mga kaibigan at kaututang dila.

Ito ang istorya naming dalawa ni Frederico.

. . . . . . . . .

Okay, back to back to bakla to normal. Pasensya na at HIGH pa ren ako sa pagsinghot ng ipinagbabawal na utot.

Umatak muna tayo sa PROFILE ng napipintong love of my life:

NAME: FREDERICO "last name witheld"
AGE: 24
HEIGHT: 5'9 and 3 cms
WEIGHT: 135 lbs
BODY TYPE: SLIGHT BORTA with matching pa-develop na chanda romero
FEZ TYPE: Kafezing ni DREW ARRELLANO (accdg to Jessica); Kafezing ni Drew Arellano kapag na-haggard (accdg to CLAUDE).
HOBBIES: (1) Mag-singaling sa mga chipanggurutay na videoke na hinihulugan ng limang-piso. (2) mag-telebabad gamit ang SUN CELLULAR.
AMBITION: To be a successful HOSTO.

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY: Dating dancerey sa Eat Bulaga, hanggang na-cardiac . . . . nag-Japan-japanan portion for 3 months, wittelles naging successful; nag-dancerey sa isang bar na shinoshorwag na Superman; at ngayo’y isang WAITERLOO sa isang GAYBAR.
any discreet guys?

Okay, so hayon na nga . . . . basta isang gabi eh inaya akembang ni Mother Ricky . . . my fairy gay mommah na umataksiva sa isang Gay Bar sa Timog. Achully eh dapat wittelles na akembang sa pagka-atak but then, na-realize kez na wai naman akez kaganapan sa life ever ng gabing iyonchie kaya, umatak na akey hey hey hey!

Bago pa akez umenter sa nasabing Gay Bar eh biglang nagpupupumintig ang puriit ko ng walang humpay nang ma-sight ko si Frederico na naka-jupo sa may front entrance. Syempre at first eh deadma portion akez . . . super buysung ng bogarette.

May lagkit ang mga tingin niya sa akin, habang mega-standing ovation lang akez at mega subaroo like there’s no tomorrow. Alam ko ang klase ng mga tipo ng pagkalagkit na iyon . . . . tipong lagkit na parang ubeng halayang na-overcook.

Learnsiva ko naman na ang mga eksena sa ganitrix. Sa tinagal-tagal ko namang naging badinggerzie eh kagknowsline ko na ang atak ng mga menthol na super workaloo sa mga establisyementong sadyang ginawa para kurakutan ang mga badette. Mga tipong atakeng titingnan ka nila ng super pa-sweet at ipapa-felt sa iyez na ikawchienabelles na ang pinakamagandang hayop sa balat ng lupa (susunod kay Gloria Diaz).

After the yosi eh nag-enter the dragon na akembang sa naturang gaybar. Isang paraisong puno ng init para sa ilan.

Na-sight ko si Mother Ricky na tili ng tili sa isang sulok habang may isang macho-dancerey ang mega-kiss-kiss sa kanya ng nota. At kung makatili naman si Mother Ricky eh parang kolehiyalang pinalake sa kumbento ng mga birhen na madre.

Haves pa siya ng plenty na ka-joint na mga ka-henerasyon nya. More chikahan kami pagkaupo ko at umisquierda na ren ang menthol na nagpapadukwang ng nota for five hundred peysos. Chinika ni Mama Ricky na breaksiva na raw sila ni Lucky, yung konteserong jowa niyang muntik ko nang hadahin sa CR ng Metro Bar, kung hindi lang akembang binagabag ng konsensiya kong naging absent sa buhay ko for many years.

More chikahan, and more drink with matching nota-sightings on the side. Witchelles sa pagkaipokrita or pagkadyoza effect ha, pero sa truelili lang eh witchelles na akembang na-eerbogan sa mga luluking nakaboots, nakatibak, may gigantic na notring na winawagyway na parang endangered sawa sa manila zoo, habang super dancerey sa entablado sa saliw ng "It's All Coming Back To Me" ni Celine Dion. Para na lang silang mga Koalang masarap tingnan pero wit mo bet jorwakan.

Hanggang sa na-sight ko another si Frederico sa loob. More walk siya hanggang sa may tumapik sa kanya sa isang table.

Pinagmasdan ko talaga ang bawat body language. Chinika siya nung badette, super smile lang si Frederico, super offer sa kanya ng drinks, smile pa ren siya, at tumanggi, nakipagkamay another at umisquierda.

More walk again si Frederico hanggang sa inorwag naman siya ni Mama Ricky.

Lumapit siya sa table namin. Wiz naman ako sa pagka-sight. Kunwari eh witchelles ako interesado. Eh ang mga luluking itey, pag pinafelt mo sa kanila na ineteresado ka eh daig pa nila si Mike Enriquez sa pagtalak ng "Hindi Kita Ta . . . Tantanan!"

PInakilala siya sa amin ni Mama Ricky. Doon ko nalearn ang soap-operatic niyang namesung . . . Fredericohhhhhh. Parang bet ko namang sabihing . . . Maria Kondesa Bonita ang pangalan ko . . . echot lang.

Umupo sa Frederico sa tabi ni Mama Ricky, habang si Mama naman eh walang sinasayang na sandali, more kurot here . . . more kurot there . . . more kurot everywhere . . . . .mahihiya ang mga gobernador sa pagcha-chansing niya.

Hanggang sa tinalak ni Mama Ricky sa 'min na si Frederico lang daw ang betchay niya sa establisyementong iyon ng walang pag-iimbot at buong katapatan, pero sad to say . . . . . . si Frederico lang daw ang witchelles pa-booking sa establisyementong iyonchienabelles arabelles araboomboombelles.

Tumambling naman ako don.

Parang bet ko namang mapahalakhak na ala-Celia Rodriguez sa mga oras na iyon at tumalak ng "I don't drrrrrrink waterrrrrrr . . . . . waterrrrrr is bad forrrrrrrr my health."

Day-off daw niya at may hinhintay lang siyang friendiva. Witchelles nya inaaccept ang drinkaloo na ginigivesung sa kanya ni Mama Ricky. Tumagal pa ang mga oras at tumagal pa ang chikahan, witchelles ko learn kung naaapektuhan na ba ang sense of judgement ko dahil sa tumataas na ang alcohol level sa dugo ko o talagang nabibighani lang ako sa pagkatao ni Frederico.

Sabi ko sa sarili ko . . . . Wrooooooooooooooooooooooooooong! Mamah! Wrong!

Hanggang sa kaming dalawa na lang ang nagkukuwentuhan dahil bisi ang mga tiyahin ko sa pag-sight kay Suma at sa kanyang sawa.

Tumabi pa siya sa 'kin.

Chinika ko sa kanya kung sigurado ba siyang wittelles niya bet nomomi.

Nag-isip siya. Dalawang isip. Tatlong isip. Apat na isip.

"Sige, basta ikaw . . . ." bera ba naman.

Ask key kung anech ang bet niyang nomuhin. San Mig Light daw.

So more San Mig Light.

Marami kaming napagchikahan, in fairness, may sense siyang kausap. Chinika niya sa ken ang job description niya doonchie. More waitreloo and more GRO portion, more entertain ng customers pero witchelles sa pagpapatake-home. Sanay na raw siya sa ganong ruta at hindi na rin bago sa kanya ang kalakalan ng laman. Pero stick lang siya sa workaloo niya.

Mataray siya for that.

Hindi ko chinika sa kanya ang truelili kong namesung at witchelles ko rin chinika ang truelili kong workaloo, just to give him lang an idea . . . para isipin niyang . . . isa lang akong minimum wage earner.

Pero more chikahan portion pa rin kami. Wala rin yung mga ineexpect kong atake pailalim. As in . . . yung tipong aatake ang kamay niya sa ilalim ng mesa at sabay himas sa aking mga binti . . . to give a more erbog feeling.

Pwede kong sabihing . . . . meron na kong lapse of judgement sa mga oras na iyon . . . pero pwede ko ring sabihin na nagkamali ang tingin ko sa kanya noong una ko siyang na-sighteous. Mahirap mang paniwalaan . . . pero nakakapanabik malaman na iba siya . . . . dahil sabi ng ABC 5 . . . "astig maging iba!"

Lumalim na ang gabi at nakaramdam na ng antok (o sakit ng kasusuan, echoz) ang mga tiyahin ko at nag-aya nang jumuwelyon.

Nagpaalam na ako kay Frederico at umisquierda palabas.

Nasa labas na kami nang may tumawag sa akin ng ibang pangalan. Hindi ko pa nilingon nung una until na-realize kong yun pala ang namesung na ginivesung ko kay Frederico.

Humabol siya, sabay ask ng "May SUN ka ba?"

Chika ko, "GLOBE lang e."

"Ay sayang, titext pa naman sana kita. Pero bigay ko na ren number ko . . . . "

"Hindi naman ako madalas pumunta dito."

"Hindi lang naman dito tayo pwedeng magkita uli ah."

At ang mga huling salitang iyon ang naglagay ng ngiti sa aking mga labi hanggang sa pagtulog ko at paggising ko kinabukasan.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Hindi ko inakalang dadating sa buhay ko si Frederico . . . . sa isang di-inaasahang pagkakataon at sa di inaasahang oras . . . isang hatinggabi, isang Miyerkules sa ilalim ng mga kumukurap-kurap na ilaw na lumilibot sa mga letrang nagsasabing "ADONIS".

Mag-isa siyang naka-upo sa isang silyang yari sa kahoy, na parang isang anay na lang ang hindi pa pumipirma ay mababaldado na nang tuluyan ang apat na paa nito, katabi niya ang guawardiyang parang asong nakakain ng butong pinagulong sa vetsin. Tahimik niyang hinihigop gamit ang pulang straw ang iced-tea na may maputlang kulay, marahil ay natunaw na ang yelo at sa maliliit na pahigop ay mapapatagal ng isang oras ang isang baso na ang tunay na kahalagahan ay ang pumatid uhaw.

Malayo ang tingin niya at mukhang malalim ang iniisip, na noong una ay nakapagpagulo sa isipan ko dahil malayo naman sa hitsura niya ang mag-isip. Sa totoo lang, sa unang tingin ko pa lang sa kanya ay "kama" agad ang pumasok sa isip ko. Sabi nila, lahat tayo ay nilikhang may angking kagandahan . . . . ang gandang natural . . . gandang ricky reyes . . . . gandang panghalimaw at higit sa lahat ay may gandang pangkama.

Sa unang pagdapo pa lang ng aking mga mapanuring mata sa mga tila nagliliyab na balat ni Frederico ay iba’t ibang imahe na ang nabuo sa hinuha ko . . . . . mga nagtitirikang mga mata . . . kagat-labing panggigigil . . . . mga madidiing kapit na halos bumabaon sa balat . . . likod na nakaliyad at higit sa lahat . . . . mga daliri sa paa na nagbabalukturan at nagtutunugan . . . mga imahen ng masidhing tagpo ng dalawang taong nagkakainigan.

Napahinga na lamang ako ng malalim habang pinipilit na huwag maglaho ang kapana-panabik na tagpong pinapalabas sa isang channel sa utak ko ngunit nabigo ako. Nawalan ng signal.
Napasinghal na lang ako, napabulong sa sarili, "THIS IS NOT IT . . . . THIS IS REALLY REALLY NOT IT."

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

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Pag-return of the jedi kez from Davao eh I made a self-declared rest day or rather rest week. Tinigbak kez lahat ng line of communication from the outside world and parang ang betchay kez lang eh ang mag-hybernate hanggang dumating ang second coming. Witchelles naman akez yung tipong utaw na haggardin . . . well physically speaking . . . . haves akembang ng resistensiya ng horse (wish ko lang nota na lang na nota ng horse ang nakuha key hey hey hey) pero mentally speaking eh . . . . oh well . . . . . . madali akez ma-orgod . . . .

Before I go to my story of the day eh kaonting update lang.

Ang badinggerzie kong shofated, si Nick, eh super bisi-bisihan sa kanyang thesis. Supposedly eh dapat nakagraduate na siya 'nung March but then ewan ko ba kung anechiwa ang nangyari at biglang naging Octoberian si powtah. Sinasabi ko na nga ba eh, feeling kez eh dahil itu sa jowa-jowaan portion niya! (Insecure?!) Deadma, I made a vow na never ko nang shushukialaman si Nick regarding his personal life.

Si Bunso naman . . . . oh well . . . ano bang maichichika kez . . . . he's starting to get on his feet. 'Nung simulang niraket ko siya (modelling) eh naging sunod-sunod na ang booking ng bagets. In fairness . . . hiyang siya. Pero sa balaysiva kez pa ren siya nakatira-ara. Take note . . . sa sala itu ha. At walang physical contact itu since the time he moved in with us.

Si Kiara eh rampa lang ng rampa. Bago akez nag fly paatak ng Davao eh may jowa siya then, pagcome-back kez eh may another jowa na naman si de-powtah! Si bakla talaga, walang kupas ang kakatihan . . . . mahihiya ang gabi sa kanya sa pagkakati.

Speaking of kati-katihan portion . . . .

Disconnected ako sa mundo, until one Saturday evening 'nang dumating si Claude sa balaysung. Learn ko naman aapear siya that night dahil mega-text siya na aatak siya dahil witchelles ko nga bet lumabas.

So pagdating niya eh tulug-tulugan naman akembang. Nakahilata lang akez sa kama ng pumasok siya sa kwarto ko.

Ginising-gising niya akez, pero super deadma ako. Mega close pa ren ng eyes.

Naloka na lang akez nang na-feel kong umangat ang kutson ng kama ko and next thing I know eh nasa sahig na ko.

Powtah. Umiral na naman ang pagka-amazona ni bakla.

Sabi niya, magbihis raw akez at meron kaming aatakan.

Chika ko witchelles ko bet.

Chika naman niya eh wag ko na raw hintayin na siya pa ang magbihis sa 'ken at baka pa magkabali-bali ang mga bulalo ko.

Sa pagkahigante ni Claude eh mahirap mag-doubt na keri niyang panindigan ang mga chinichika niya. So, with matching dabug-dabugan portion eh nagbihis akez.

Sa buong akala ko pa ba naman eh malars ang atak namin but then naloka akez nang pa-cubao ang daang tinatahak ni bakla.

Talak niya aatak daw kami sa "F".

Mega-ask naman akez, "F??? Fashion . . . . Fabululoush . . . . . Facsist Bar . . . . ?"


Sa isang salita na yon eh parang nayanig naman ang mundo ko.

I've heard of the place, but never been there.

"Teka . . . teka . . . . teka . . . ."

Bago pa ako makapagreklamo eh, "Wag ka nang magsalita pa . . . ." ang talak ni Claude at tumahimik na lang ako.

Honestly . . . . naloka akez . . . . becoz . . . .becoz . . . . hindi naman sa hindi ko gusto pero ang siste eh . . . . HINDI AKO PREPARED . . . . . . sinsabotahe na ba ako ng kaibigan ko. Imberna.

Tinahak namin ang kahabaan ng E.Rod. At huminto somewhere . . . .

Nakita ko ang signage . . .

Pero sa baba 'non eh parang walang pinto . . . parang puro walls lang.

"Bakla. Parang sarado na," talak ko kay Claude na pababa na ng caru.

Binuksan niya ang pinto sa side ko at pinababa na ren akez.

"Bukas yan," talak ng baklang hukluban.

May isang mama na naka-upo sa isang monobloc chair ang shumoyo paglapit namin at lumapit sa itim na dingding at naloka na lang ako na may handle pala don somewhere and viola! May pinto nang bumubukas.

I haven't been in a bathhouse for a long time. Ang huling bathhouse ko pa yata eh nung panahon na dinaraos ang sentenaryo ng kalayaan ng Pilipinas.

So, pa-virgin effect naman ako.

Bago kami nag-enter eh megakapa-kapaan portion ang mama.

Pag enter namin eh isang box office agad ang sumalubong sa amin. Well, more of like na parang booth na pinagbabayaran ng pusta sa mga karerahan ng kabayo. May dalawang menchus ang bisi-bisihan sa isang window at hindi pa 'ko nakakakurap eh may-I-give na sa 'ken si Claude ng isang papel na parang papel-de-ahensya. I have this feeling na parang meron akong isasangla ha.

"Fill-up", chika ni Claude in his usual superior-like-military tone na wala kang choice kundi sundin ang sinasabi niya.


Name . . . .

Address . . . .

Birthday . . . .

Phone number . . . .

Signature . . . . . .

At kulang na lang eh proof of purchase at pwede mo nang ihulog sa suking tindahan.

After 'non eh mega-paysung na si Claude at ginivesungan naman akez ng bilat sa loob ng booth ng isang kakapiranggot na laminated na pink na papel. Yun na raw yung membership card ko.

Tapos sabay sigaw yung bilat sa loob ng "New Member!!!!!!"

Kakaloka. Kelangan talagang i-announce?

At biglang merong lumabas na menchus na naka-uniporme. "Sir, dito po." Talak niya sa amin.

Bago pa 'ko pumasok sa pinto eh may kumalabit sa aken.

Teka . . . teka . . . teka . . . . hindi pa ako nakakatatlong hakbang sa loob ng bathhouse eh may kalabitan portion na.

Paglingon ko eh yun palang baggage boy. Pinapashonggal niya yung jacket ko.

Nag-resist naman akez. Sabi ko witchelles ko bet. Tapos chika niya. Kelangan daw. Nako ha. Ayaw ko na lang makipagtalo sa isang baggage boy, sinurender ko ren ang jacket ko at super givesung siya ng isang tag na may goma.

Actually nag-resist talaga ako, dahil naka-sando lang akez. So, without the jacket and with my "yatis" na shortawan . . . . . eh parang hindi naman yata yon ka-aya-aya for a newbie. Witchelles makatarungan . . . . at ayaw ni Congresswoman Eta Rosales ng ganyan! Deadma. Na-realize ko na lang na later on eh shoshonggalin ko ren naman ang lahat-lahat sa ‘ken.

Super enter kami sa isang makipot na corridor then, bumulaga na sa 'ken ang isang entrance paakyat ng hagdan. Sa baba 'non ay may another menchus in uniform ang nagbabantay with a ledger of some kind. Sinundan ko na lang kung anech ang ginawa ni Claude. Nilabas niya yung wallet niya, phone and some other stuff na nasa bulsa niya. Na parang nahiya akong gawin dahil ang plenty ng nakalagay sa bulsa kez with matching a mini-stuff-toy na tweetie bird na key-chain. Nilista ang mga items nung menchus na parang si San Pedro at ginivesung sa another menchus na nilagay naman ang mga gamit sa isang bakanteng box kahelera din ang sangkaterbang maliliit na boxes . . . that would remind you of a post office. Pagkatapos non eh sinusi ang box at ginivesung ang another goma with two keys. In-explain sa 'ken 'nung menchus na yung isa eh yung susi 'don sa box at yung isa eh susi sa locker.

Nagbigay na ng go-signal yung San Pedro na nakabantay sa baba ng hagdan pagkatapos ang another kapa-kapaan portion at pinaakyat na kami.

All those times eh tahimik lang si Claude. 'Nung paakyat na kami eh bigla siyang tumalak.

"Okay. Siya na ang mag-ga-guide sa yo (referring to the menchus na sumundo sa 'min sa box office). Wala nang point na samahan pa kita. It would spoil the evening. I'll go ahead, magkita na lang tayo."

At nagmadaling nauna na si Claude.

Sa loob-loob ko naman eh potah naman pala 'tong si Claude sinama-sama pa akez and then all of a sudden eh solo-flight din pala ang labanan. Luka-luka!

Pag-akyat namen eh boses ng mga nagvi-videoke ang na-hearsung kez. Tapos may bar. I made a quick scan. In fairness . . . . okay yung place. Pero sa area na yon . . . eh lahat ng nasa-sight kez eh bihis pa naman . . . so far so good. Wala munang gulatan.

"Eto po yung bar . . . ." chika nung tourist guide.

Oh well . . . mukha siyang bar . . . . kelangan pa ba niyang i-define sa 'ken yon?

Tapos tumuro siya sa kaliwa . . . . "Eto naman po yung library."

Muntik naman akong matalisod 'dun sa narinig ko . . . LIBRARY talaga . . . ano 'to school?

Pagsilip ko eh na-sight ko ang hile-hilerang dirty magazines. Okay fine. Library na nga 'yon kung library.

We walked across the room. We passed the mga "pa-menchus" na super birit sa awiting "You Raise Me Up". . . the mere fact na iniwan ako ni Claude and the mere fact na mag-isa akong tinu-tour sa isang bathhouse eh nakapagpa-windang na ever sa mundo ko eh dinagdagan pa ng sakit ng ulo while hearing the group of pamenchus sing Josh Groban. Define "roller coaster of emotions."

Sa kabilang dulo ng room, huminto si tour guide, "Eto po yung audio-visual room . . "

Hanep! May library na nga, may AVR pa . . . . san ka pa?

Di ko na ninais na silipin pa kung anech ang nasa loob, seeing the "library" gave me the whole point.

Umatak kami sa isang corner na 'nung unang sight ko eh akala ko naman eh dead-end dahil puro salamin, but then no! May hagdan pala ditey pababa.

So . . . . baba naman kami.

Pagbaba eh biglang nag-dilim naman ang lahat. Pula . . . masyadong red ang ambiance. Meron na namang ala-San Pedro ang nakabantay don at heto pa, may podium talaga siya. Another set of kapa-kapaan portion. No wonder, malamang eh super heated up na ang mga menchus bago pa man maka-aksyon sa pinaka-loob sa dami ba naman ng mga buffy menchus na kumakapa-kapa pag-enter.

Pag-pass namen doon eh unang tumambad sa 'ken ang mga gym equipments that were awkwardly positioned. Yung mga tipong parang hindi sila para 'don. The way they appear eh parang hindi naman sila nagagamit . . . in short . . . display!

Sa kaliwang side ng room na yon eh ang mga lockers. In fairness . . . bet ko ang interior design 'nung place ha. Check na check.

"Eto po yung mga lockers . . . "

Aba'y malamang . . . . hindi naman sila mukhang mga "room for rent" sa 'ken.

Tapos eh sinenyasan ako nang menchus na kumanan muna, passing the gym equipments kuno, to a more dilemma place. Pag enter namen don eh parang crystal maze naman ang labanan, super paliko-liko . . . at salamin here . . . salamin there at salamin everywhere . . . . kulang na nga lang eh humawak ako sa tour guide or else eh witchelles ako makakalabas 'don. Inside the crystal maze eh ang shower room . . . tapos sa may bandang dulo eh ang sauna. Doon pa lang eh plenty na ang mga nagle-lurk na mga menchus na super tapis-tapisan portion na lang ang labanan. Samantalang ako itong all-dressed up pa . . . with matching tour guide . . . . could my entrance be less conspicuous than that? Harsh!

May-I-follow lang ako sa tour guide hanggang makalabas sa crystal maze. At nakahinga ako ng malalim

Sa likod naman ng mga lockers eh may daanan . . . another lagusan ito. With another shower room . . . and another bar.

Kung yung bar sa taas eh filled with "dressed" people . . . yung bar naman sa baba eh filled with "undressed" people. Ang funny ng concept ha.

More lagusan at hanggang sa makarating kami sa another stairs paakyat.

"Dyan po mas maraming place . .. tapos may mga booths . . .hindi na po tayo pwede umakyat dahil nakabihis tayo."

With the tone of his voice . . . . I believe na yun na ang this-is-it na place.

Got it.

Sa dami ng lagusan at pajikot-jikot nung lugar na yon eh naloka ako. One turn, may mga gym equipments na parang useless, one turn . . . eh may mga menchus na naghuhubad at nagtatapis, one turn . . . eh isang bar na ang mga naka-upo eh mga menhus na walang pakundangan sa pagbukaka . . . one turn eh ang crystal maze . . one turn eh shower room with menchus na mega shower all-the-way . . . . one turn eh stairs . . .one turn . . .another stairs . . . . talk about direction overload . . . .

"Okay sir. Pag may problema po eh ipatawag niyo na lang ako. Pwede na kayong magbihis."

At iniwan na ko ng tour guide.

At that point eh parang I felt that the entire place is closing in on me . . . . it's me against the world . . . . .

Attack na ko sa mga lockers. Hinahanap ko si Claude pero nowhere in sight siya. Hinanap ko ang locker ko. Gustuhin ko mang tumingin-tingin sa paligid ko at i-sighteous ang hitsura ng mga utaw eh parang witchelles ko ren kinaya.

So, open ng locker . . . getching ng tinnie-winnie na tuwalya at slippers. Hubad . . . . . . hubad . . . and hubad . . . . .

Huminga ng malalim then . . . . bahala na si batman.

To be continued . . . .

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

STRANGER in DAVAO (part 4)


Bading ako . . . . .
Bading ka . . . .
Bading sila . . . ..
Bading tayong lahat . . . .. .

Who cares?

Itechiwa lang ang mga salitang naglalaro sa isip ko na parang mga gamu-gamong jumijikot-jikot sa apoy ng shondila, habang nasa carumba ni DEEP VOICE.

Pagkagaling sa Jack's Ridge eh ask si DEEP VOICE kung ngaraggedy-anne-and-andy na raw ang drama ko. Talak ko, witchelles pa naman. Sabi niya may isang place pa raw kaming aatakan, "more private."

Akez naman eh Go Japan! lang.

Matapos ang usapan nila ni Councilor cherva-er-er-chervavich eh witchelles ko na kinailangan pa ng paliwanagan o ng mahabang eksplanasyon na parang na-feel na rin naman ni DEEP VOICE. Witchelles din naman niya dinepensa ang sarili. Gustuhin ko man ng confirmation tungkol sa mga jinijisip kez eh parang witchelles ko na ren na-bettan dahil baka eynimomentz eh mas harsh pa ang marinig ko at magsisi lang akez in the long run. Shit! To think of it . . . . I got myself into a deep shit kung sakali, pero deadma.

Noong unang panahon eh mejo witchelles ko feel ang mga drama ng mga klosetang veklores. Ewan ko ba pero parang witchelles ko lang talaga sila feel. Siguro dahil sa fact na out ako at sila hindi. I mean, parang wrong. Alam kong I'm in no position to judge . . . but parang I feel bad for them . . . na ako itong pinker than pink ang drama samantalang sila eh witchelles man lang makapagladlad maski isang-inch ng kapa nila. I know, they have their reasons. But feeling ko eh instead of making things better . . . . eh parang mas na-o-opress naman siletchie. At parang unfair din . . . for them . . .

Ano ba ang mga rason kung baket witchelles makapag-out ang isang veklore????

(1) Ang pinaka-common na rason eh ang eksena ng kanilang "Familia Zaragoza". May strict na father o may muder na aristocratic . . . . kultura ren siguro . .
.exemple gratia: learn kez na sa super-mega-over chines na family to the most
traditional level eh witchelles bet ang halamang-dagat na member.

(2) Masyadong mababa ang pagtingin ng isang kloseta sa "sangkabaklaan" para
ihanay ang sarili niya sa mga ito. Witchelles niya kering shonggapin sa sarili
na veklore siya. Witchelles! Kahit na learn naman niyang nota din ang habol
niya. Go pa ren siya living a pretentious life.

Pero ganon talaga ang life. At may ganon talagang utaw. It doesn't mean na mas mababa ang uri nila. Live and let live, chika nga.

From Jack's Ridge eh umaatikabong maTagalog-movie-greats na biyahihan ang naganap.

More na pasikut-sikut na kalsada, nagdidiliman at nagtatarikang bangin.

Hanggang sa nakarating kami sa parang nag-iisang balaysiva lang sa lugar na yon.

At super daks na balaysiva itez take note. At take note, rest house lang daw yon ni DEEP VOICE. Kapag witchelles niya bet ang mga eksena niya in the real world eh sinsegregate niya ang sarili, umaataksiva sa balaysiva na iyonchienabelles at super rest sa house. Kaya nga siguro shinorwag na rest house. Corny!


Pag enter-the-dragon pa lang namin eh naloka na akez. Pag-on ng lights eh sumalubong sa ken ang mga banga na mas malalaki pa yata sa akin. At ang floor . . . . marble kung marble ito ha na sa sobrang kintab eh keri-kering manalamin.

Dumirecho kami sa living room. At jupostrax naman akembang sa isang couch na sobrang daks din at super lambot na parang nangangain ng tao.

Nag-excuse si DEEP VOICE.

Akez naman eh super waiting-in-vain lang don at super jisip sa mga nagaganap. Baka eynimomentz eh may umataksiva na lang doonchienabelles na mga Mang Jun Pulistiko at damputin si DEEP VOICE not knowing na drug lord si powtah. But then no! Siguro naman witchelles.

Pagbalik ni DEEP VOICE eh haves na siya ng isang bote ng Chardonnay (hindi ko kinaya ang kasosyalan ng nomu ha) at dalawang glass. Mega drinkaloo lang akez dahil paminsan-minsan lang nasasayaran ng mamahaling alak ang lalamunan kez . . . pasko pa.

Habang ninanamnam kez ang mamahaling alak eh biglang tumalak si DEEP VOICE.

Kung ano man ang mangyari eh ready na akez, since andon naman na ako. Kung bet niyang kunin na ang lahat sa akin eh go lang ng go. May magagawa pa ba akembang? Sa mga oras na ganoonchienabelles eh wala nang panahon para pa i-test ang pagkaganders at magmiganju.

"Mayroon akong dapat sabihin sa 'yo," talak ni DEEP VOICE. At serious kung serious ito.

Shinornix kez kung anech naman yonchie na dapat niyang ishorlak.

"Pero hindi ko alam kung dapat ko ba siyang sabihin or not," talak niya another.

Make up your mind ha! I'm always here . . . . waiting for you to attack! Charing!

Hanggang sa lumabas sa mga bibig niya ang mga nakakashombling na salita na mas nakakashombling pa kaysa sa pag-shorlon sa bangin ni Lady Choi!

"I have 2 kids na . . . . . . "

Yes . . . oh yes . . . . . he is indeed a PAPAble . . . .Papa as in . . . you know . . . . with kids.

Naloka naman akez at biglang nawala ang pag-iinit na kaniney ko pa nafi-feel sa shortawan kez. Napaupo akez ng direcho. Witchelles ko learn kung anech ang itatalak ko and besides, witchelles ko rin naman learn kung baket niya tinalak sa aken yon noh! Kung ang plano niya eh sirain talaga ang libido ko eh pwes . . . . successful siya.

Super waiting-for-tonight si DEEP VOICE sa kung anechiwa man ang ishoshorlak kez but then, wala din siyang nahita. Wa akez spluk.

Shumoyo siya. Super smile, "It's fine naman for me if you know . . . you don't want to do it . . . with . . . someone like me who has kids already."

Sa truelili lang, witchelles naman sa ayaw ko . . . . witchelles ko lang learn kung anech ang magiging reaksyon ko. Okay lang naman noh. May nota pa ren naman siya. Luluki pa ren naman ang tingin ko sa kanya, kahit na may mga junakis morrisette na siya. The thing is, I never like did it before with a real Papa . . . I mean, I might have had sex na ren with a "Papa" nang hindi ko learn, pero at least eh hindi ko nga learn . . . eh si DEEP VOICE, kelangan talaga bang ipalearn sa 'ken. Harsh!

Tumagal pa ng ilang minuto ang dead air sa pagitan naming dalawa nang biglang nag-ringaling ang fonilya niya.

Nag-excuse siya at umatksiva sa kusina.

After a few moments eh nahi-hearsung ko na siyang nakikipagtalakan as in warla mode sa kung sinech man ang kabersahan niya sa fonilya.

Naloka na naman akembang at this time, with matching jugjug . . . . . jugjug . . . . sa dibdib.

Is this not it?!?!?! Is this really really not it?!?!?!?!

Pagbalik niya sa sala eh ibang-iba na ang mood niya. Nag-sorry siya at chinika niya na we have to go. Bet niyang ihatid na muna akembang sa hotel chenelyn but then, chika niya na may dapat siyang atakan agad-agad. Kaya't hinila na niya akembang, joinlackes sa carumba at druvang to the fastest maximum level.

Witchelles pa kami nakakalampas sa Jack's Ridge, mga wala pang thirty-minutes eh nag-enter kami sa isang subdivision . . . . at nag-stop sa isang block ng mga housing units na identical. Chika niya sa 'kin na mag-stay lang daw akembang sa carumba. So, akez naman . . . with matching all the kaba and the facial expression of "what's goin' on?!???!?!?!" eh mega-sit na lang.

Bago pa siya maka-josok sa isang housing unit eh jumukas ever ang shintuan at lumabas ang isang babaeng ka-karakas ni Martha Stewart, pinay version nga lang . . . . with all the pearls . . . the matching blouse and pants and don't forget the handbag. Parang warla ang bilatchus, witchelles ko nahi-hearsung kung anechiwa ang nangyayari doonchienabelles pero I got this feeling na umaatikabong ratratan portion ang sumalubong kay DEEP VOICE.


After a few minutes eh may menchus naman na lumabas din sa balaysung. Wala rin siyang magawa . . . . dahil niraratrat din siya ni Martha Stewart look-alike.

Ang harsh ng eksena dahil unang-una eh para akong mega-watch ng silent movie. At pangalawa eh I can sense a disaster unfolding right before my eyes. At andon akez . . . . na walang kamuwang-muwang . . . .

Si VAL!!!! Parati na lang si VAL!!!! Si VAL na walang malay . . . ang drama ko sa buhay. Parang bet ko nang bumaba sa carumba ng dahan-dahan at isquierdahan ang lugar but then no . . . para rin akong nasa point of no return.

Kung anech man ang eksena doonchie eh wala akong definite na idea pero felt na felt kong witchelles siya happy moments.


Medyo matagal bago pa nashorpos ang eksena. Nag-ending siya nang sumakay na lang bigla ang bilat sa carumba niya at umisquierda.

Inimbitahan akez ni DEEP VOICE sa loob 'nung housing unit. Na-learn ko kung sinech ang menchus. At nagpaliwanag si DEEP VOICE.

I will not go into details for the sake of DEEP VOICE . . . . (and for the sake of my life . . .echoz!) but then, kayo na lang ang humusga.

Nakauwi din ako sa hotel. Nakatulog ng mahimbing at ginawa ang trabaho na dapat ko talagang gawin si Davao.

It was a helluva experience for me . . . .


We all have secrets . . . . . As we go on with our everyday lives, we meet and encounter people that at first look, we could have an idea of the totality of their character. But that is not enough . . . .

Behind a smile or a beautiful face . . . . underneath it might lie something that is not supposed to be seen or known.

Whatever the reason . . . . would be a mystery . . . .

But secrets are bound to be discovered.

The question is . . . like the song goes . . . "How do we ever keep a secret?"

But once the secret is out . . . . . . .

Do we stay in the shadows of our own deception or we accept the fact that the SOLUTION IS "OUT" . . . . ?

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Monday, May 08, 2006



We all have secrets . . . . . even as I recount my life in this blog . . . I still keep secrets of my own. As we go on with our everyday lives, we meet and encounter people that at first look, we could have an idea of the totality of their character. But that is not enough . . . .

Behind a smile or a beautiful face . . . . underneath it might lie something that is not supposed to be seen or known.

Whatever the reason . . . . would be a mystery . . . .

* * *

Super fast and the furious eh nakapag-pa-fresh na akembang at nakababa sa lobby ng hotel.

Super waitsiva lang akez, habang super readaloo ng isang local newspaper na witchelles ko ren naiintindihan. Habang super pa-cute sa 'kin ang keri-kering concierge na kutis-molave. Ewan ko ba kung nabibighani lang siya sa angking kabyondahan kez o naloloka lang siya sa fact na super readaloo akembang ng dyaryo na wa ko rin naman learn ang mga nakachenelynbhar doonchinabelles.


Walang anu-ano eh biglang nag-vibrate na lamang ang nyelpie ko na medyo malapit sa puriit ko dahil nakalagay siya sa bulsa kez sa likod. Na-happy naman akembang dahil (1) hayan na siya at umoorwag na si DEEP VOICE, malamang; at (2) may kakaibang sensasyon akong nararamdaman sa may juriit kez. Happy da 'vah?

Anyway, this time eh numero ang lumabas sa screen kez.

So, super sagot naman akembang, pa-sweet . . . . pa-demure . . . .


Echoz . . .

Simpleng, "Hello," lang naman.

"Are you ready?" talak ni DEEP VOICE, nang narinig ko uli ang boses niya eh nakaramdam akez ng kakaibang init na nagmumula sa pinakakaibuturan ng damdamin kez na animoy fresh na fresh na magma na mabilis na umaagos mula sa puson ng mundo . . . . naghahanap ng biyak na lalabasan at handang-handang sumabog!

"I'm ready when you are," talak ko na mahihiya pati si Say Alonzo sa kalandian.

"I'm here at the hotel entrance," chika ni DEEP VOICE.

So, isquierda agad akembang paatakchienabelles sa entrance ng hotel.

Pag-sight kez, eh waz namang utawsingbelles doonchie bukod sa isang daks na itim na sasakyan, parang "Everest".

Nasa-linya pa rin si DEEP VOICE.

Shinornong kez kung siyachie ang nasa daks na carumba.


Mega kaway pa siya pero witchelles ko maaninag ang herodes na nasa loob.

So, labas akez, open-sesame ng door ng carumba, then enter.

Hayon na. Pag-sightchinabelles ko sa kanya eh nagkaroon nag-materialize na ren ang mga imahen na kaniney pa naglalaro sa isip ko. Mejo swak ang expectations ko.

Matured guy . . . siguro around mid-thirties. May mga stubbles sa fez. Naka-best in formal wear pa siya na parang feeling kez eh iyonchienabelles pa ang suot-suot niya sa office. Naka-tupi na lang ang sleeves to reveal his bulging biceps. Si daddy ha . . . .di nakakalimutang mag-gym, in fairness.

"Is this your first time?" shornong ni DEEP VOICE habang mega-druvang. In fairness naman talaga, ibang-iba ang hagod ng boses . . . parang nanunukso . . . nangaakit . . . . nakakapangilabot . . . . nakakatindig . . . . . you know . . . . balahibo.

"First time what? To be picked up by a stranger in my hotel?" sagot na tanong kez.

"No . . . in Davao . . . " klaro niya.

Ah okay . . . si daddy naman kasi eh . . . witchelles dinidiretso ang tanong para sa isang veklores na sadyang luntian ang pag-iisip na tulad ko.

"Technically no . . . . pero, the first time that I was here, hindi rin ako nakapaggala and nakalabas ng hotel dahil sa dami ng work and limited ang time."

"So . . . . it is your first time . . . . "

"Di nga eh."

"I mean . . . to be picked up by a stranger in your hotel . . . . "

"Ah . . . actually . . . I've been picked up by a lot of strangers na in a lot of times (kape!)"

Shuhimek lang kami ng slight then, talak siya, "So . . . how was it so far . . . . "

"Okay lang naman. Exciting. Adventure. Kasi 'di mo alam kung anong mangyayari sa inyo kapag as in total stranger ang naka-meet mo . . . pero happy naman so far . . . . di pa naman ako nagigilitan . ."

"I mean . . . . your stay here in Davao?"

Naiinis na ko sa usapang ito ha.

"Davao. Great. Okay lang . . . . ganda nga eh . . alam mo, given the opportunity . . . I can actually live here."

"Anong klaseng opportunity naman yon?"

"Kapag, alam mo yon, siguro merong mag-ooffer sa 'ken ng bahay at high-paying job eh di why not?"

"What if I offer you a house and a high-paying job, right now? What would you say?"

"Nako. 'Wag ka namang magbiro ng ganyan. Alam mo, if you're in Manila. I wouldn't just offer you a house and a high-paying job."

"Of course not . . . I can see that you can't afford it naman and besides, if I'm in Manila, I would stay in my unit in the Residences."

Parang at that momentzzzz eh parang gusto ko namang hanapin ang intertropical convergenze zone dahil may nafi-felt akez na may panaka-nakang pagbuga ng malakas-lakas na hangin sa may bandang driver's seat until narealize kong si DEEP VOICE yon na parang may built-in industrial fan.

Wit naman akez agad na natiwang . . . betsiva kez ang mga utawsingbelles na ganitrax . . . . .may bilib sa sarili . . . . at katakut-takot na self-confidence ang inee-exude. Ibang level ito . . . . may challenge.

Kunwari ay namangha naman akez sa tinalak niya. Kung makapag-"Residences" naman siya eh parang ang mga unit sa Greenbelt eh nabibili lang ng kinse isang tumpok ha.

After 20 minutes eh witchelles pa ren kame nakakarating sa dapat na marating namin at nagsisimula na 'kong maloka dahil pa-sukal na ng pa-sukal ang mga daan na tinatahak namin.

Pero, inassure naman niya akez na super happiness ang aatakan namin kaya patience lang daw.

* * *

We all have secrets . . . . As we go on with our everyday lives, we meet and encounter people that at first look, we could have an idea of the totality of their character.

We may encounter some people who at first are already very outspoken, they could be bright individuals. Used to be at the top of class . . . . achievements fill up the last 3 pages of their curriculum vitae. They could also be not well-liked.

On the other hand, there are those who could barely speak a word. Insecurity fills the air whenever they're around . . . . . people with low self-esteem and self-confidence. They'd rather be silent in ages than commit a mistake in a second.

Voices and the manner of speaking could also tell a lot . . . . . a person who speaks very fast and spontaneous can be an intelligent one . . . . a person who speaks very fast but doesn't make any sense at all can be a poser . . . . a person who could not finish a sensible sentence could be a shy type if not probably a model . . . . a high-pitched voice that has more intonations than the YES.FM jingle could be a very joyful person and if it is a guy then he might be gay . . . . a very DEEP and modulated VOICE could be the mysterious type . . . .

But, then again, these are not enough. Still . . . there's more than what meets the ears and the eyes.

* * *

Finally, after forty-years in the travelling portion at halos bumaligtad na ang matres ko sa pajikut-jikot na daan at super lalim ng mga bangin eh nakarating din kami sa isang super happy na place at the top of a hill. "Jack's Ridge" daw ang namesung ng place. In fairness, super happy talaga.

It reminds me of . . . . .

Haaaaaay . . . . I promised myself not to think about it . . . .pero heto najisip ko na naman . . . at since nandito eh . . . . eh ichichika ko na lang din . . . .

It reminds me of Antipolo and the overlooking chenelynbhar . . . . at sa tuwing may-I-remember ko ang place na yonchie eh super najijisip ko ren ang mga eksenang naganap sa 'ken doonchinabelles . . . with "who else"? "Him" . . . . whose name should not be mentioned.

Anyway, may ilang-ilang bar and resto donchie and isang coffee shop.

So, enter kami sa coffee shop ever.

Pag-sight kez sa menu eh naloka naman akey . . . . parang lahat ng category ng food and beverage eh may something that got to do with durian. Sa pastry section . . .eh may durian cheesecake . . . . meron ding durian cookies . . . . sa coffee section . . . may durian coffee . . . at sa frappe section eh may durian frap . . . . san ka pa?

Pano kaya sa Pangasinan . . . . since sikat ang bagoong doonchie . . . . haves din kaya ng bagoong cheesecake at bagoong frappe? Ang chaka ng eksena . . . .

Anyway . . .super order na lang akez ng latte with 1 shot of espresso for more energy and more gising-gisingan portion . . . .

Siyempre super treat naman itung si DEEP VOICE . . . eh siya naman kaya ang nag-aya noh . . choz! Mag-take advantage talaga? Actually, dumukot na akez (pero charing lang) . . . .he insisted to pay. Okay fine! Matino naman akong kausap noh . . . .

Pumuwesto kami sa labas. Na ang kashobe eh super tarik na bangin. Na mahipan ka lang siguro ng hangin . . . . . .at napatumbling ka lang ng slight eh . . . kinabukasan . . . . . closed coffin ang labanan.

At may napansin akong nakapaskil sa isang puno na karatulang chumichika nang "This is a designated smoking area". In-explain naman sa 'kin ni DEEP VOICE na sa Davao eh witchelles kering magyosi ka lang ng magyosi sa kahit saan. Maski open-air eh may "DESIGNATED SMOKING AREA" at kapag na-jullie-yap-daza kang super subey sa isang lugar na walang karatulang "DESIGNATED SMOKING AREA" eh haves ka ng instant bracelet na magkakadena sa magkabilang kamay.


Pero in fairness . . . . . happy talaga ang place. Romantic . . . . the whole city eh sight na sight. Masarap ang hangin . . . at ang mga stars eh parang mega-connive pa sa pagningning para maging mas perfect ang gabi na papasa para sa isang uber-mushy na koreanovela na hindi naman nagre-rate.

So, hayon na nga . . . .chikahan kami ng slight-slight. Actually, ako lang ang more na chumichika. So, more ask akey.

Na-learn ko na isa siyang cabinet . . . . closet . . . closet-case . . . . tagong-bading . . . . . taong pinipilit na i-jobos ang hasang para hindi mahalata ang pagkapula neto.

So, tinanong ko sa kanya kung kamusta naman ang lovelife niya.

Chika niya na mahirap daw para sa isang tulad niya na magka-lovelife sa Davao, where everybody knows everbody. Sobrang maingat daw siya at kung minsan pa nga raw eh kapag sinusumpong siya ng pagka-Catherine-Zeta-Jones at witchelles masolusyunan nang pagkikipag-daupang-palad kay Mariang Palad (at kay "Haller Fingger") eh mega-travel pa siya sa Cagayan De Oro para bumuking. At take note ha . . Davao and Cagayan De Oro is not like Riverbanks and Lawton . . . . . Davao and Cagayan De Oro is super far sa isa't isa . . . like Riverbanks and Barasoain Church.

More chikahan . . more chikahan . . . hanggang napansin kong iritado ang tingin niya sa pagkaka-upo kez. Tapos, tumalak siyang . . . .

"Bernard . . . can you spread your legs apart."

Naka-de-kwatro ako 'non. Yung de-kwatrong pa-girl with matching kuyakoy-kuyakoy pa.

Alam 'nyo, in normal circumstances . . . I wouldn't be offended kapag tinalakan akong "spread your legs apart" because normal circumstances for me is when I am in bed with a guy.

Pero yung eksenang yon . . . is definitely not one of my normal circumstances.

Sumunod din ako maski labag sa loob kong bumukaka at umupo na parang konstru na nag-yo-yosi break sa construction site. Ano pa ba ang bettti-boop niyang gawen ko . . . . .gusto pa ba niyang palalimin ang boses ko to the baritone level? Pero witchelles naman na siya tumalak pa. Yung pagko-cross-legs ko lang daw. Masyado daw kasing pa-girl baka lang daw meh makahalata.

Eh kung tampal-tampalin ko kaya siya ng pa-girl kong mga kamay!?

Deadma na.

I respect naman him. Ayaw ko rin siyang mapahiya. Kaya sinaid ko na ang lahat ng menthol hormones ko para lang sa kanya.

Humaba pa ang chikahan . . . . . .

Hanggang sa may isang girl na lumapit at binati si DEEP VOICE.

Nagchikahan sila.

Noong una eh deadma akez sa usapan nila.

Hanggang sa . . . . nakahearsung akembang ng mga words na "motion" . . . "ordinance" . . . . "letter" . . . . "kausapin mo kaya si vice . . . . . "

Sa mga puntong iyon eh nagbago ang ekspresyon sa fezlack ko from Dorothy before OZ to Dorothy with the Munchkins and the wicked witch of the west!

Napansin ni DEEP VOICE ang pagkambyo ng fezlack kez.

Inontroduce niya agad akez sa girlaloo . . . . .

"Bernard, this is my colleague . . . . Councilor cherva-er-er-chervavich . . . . "

* * *

We all have secrets . . . . . As we go on with our everyday lives, we meet and encounter people that at first look, we could have an idea of the totality of their character. But that is not enough . . . .

Behind a smile or a beautiful face . . . . underneath it might lie something that is not supposed to be seen or known.

Whatever the reason . . . . would be a mystery . . . .

But secrets are bound to be discovered.

The question is . . . like the song goes . . . "How do we ever keep a secret?"

* * *

To be continued . . . .

Monday, May 01, 2006



Hi. Ed hir, u giv m ur nmbr s chat earlier. R u free na b?

Heto na ang first appointment kez.

So, go lang ng go.

Super teksami back akembang at chinikang, "I'm always free". Ginivesung ko na ren ang room numbererette kez para go na lang siya ng go.

Tapos, eh super enter na akembang sa shower for more freshness galore. Learn naman ng mga badinggerzie yon noh, na pag may dookit na magaganap eh kelangan talagang magpa-fresh, kalikutin ang dapat kalikutin . . . . . kiskisin ang dapat kiskisin.

Super sabon na akembang ng biglang nagringaling ang phonelya kez.

Nalorka naman akez, with all the sabon and shampoo and everything eh lumabas akez sa shower room at shinorgot ang phonelya.

Si Ed. Nasa door na raw siya.

KALOKA! Eh wala pang sasampung minuto eh nandon na siya. Hindi naman kaya siya masyadong excited sa lagay na yon noh?

So, ataksiva akembang sa shintuan ever, with the tapis, sabon, shampoo . . . . as in I'm dripping wet . . . . Open-sesame ng door at pina-enter-the-dragon si Ed.

Keri siya. Ang depinisyon ng "keri" sa 'ken eh wittelles chapter 10, verse 5 at wittelles din naman super hottest. Keri lang. Average baga.

May katangkaran siya ng slight, maganda ang hugis ng mga balikat. Yung fez niya eh yung tipong, magaganda lahat. Maganda ang eyes, maganda ang ilong, maganda ang lips . . . pero pag-sinama-sama na eh parang witchelles sila SWAK sa isa't isa. Pero keri lang. In moments like these, looks really doesn’t matter at all . . . . . . performance counts.

Nag-sorry akembang dahil na-sight niya akez na wet na wet, pinajupo ko siya at chika kong popostcardin ko lang ang palelegis kez.

Biglang chumika siya, in a bisaya tone, na jujoin raw siya.

Wittelles naman akembang kaagad na naka-ispluk, dahil wittelles pa akembang nakakakurap eh naka-jubadstra na siya agad. Parang magic! One moment his dressed . . . . . the other moment his naked and sacred! Kakaloka!

"Ano? Tara!?" chika niya at nauna na siya sa shower room.

In fairness, witchelles ko na maremember ang last time na nalegis akembang na may kajoint-forces. Kung witchelles akembang nagkakamali eh grade one siguro ang huling beses na nalegis akembang kajoint forces ang mga shopet balay sa probinsiya at sa poso pa yon ha!

Deadma na akembang. Enter-the-dragon naman na akez sa nyiarette.

Pag-enter ko eh don na naloka ang mundo ko.

Witchelles ko learn kung obvious ang tingin kez, pero feeling ko eh obvious, na noong pagjosok ko pa lang eh direcho ang tingin ko sa fezlack niya then automatically bumaba ang mata kez sa baba. You know . . . down there . . . witchelles ko talaga maiwasan.

Feeling ko eh may "attention-deficiency-syndrome" ang nota niya. Masyadong papansin.

Dahil in fairness, naman noh, witchelles pa sherlag ang notring niya eh parang may kung anumang mahabang bagay na super dangling in between his legs noh. As in majoba at makyoba, na sa unang sightchinabelles kez eh feeling ko eh bumibili akembang ng footlong sa harapan ng Beda.

Napalunok na lang akembang sa nerbiyus while standing there. Syet! Witchelles ko learn kung kekerihin ba ng powers ko ang deadly weapon na dala-dala niya na siguradong kapag sinampal ka non sa fezlack eh instant knock-out ka. Najisip kez na baka eynimomentz sa gabing iyon eh tuluyan nang mawarat ang pinaka-iingatan ko brilyante ng lupa!!!

Napa-sight siya sa 'ken dahil ilang segundo ren na nakashoyo akembang doonchie. So, for the sake, the witchelles naman akembang magmukhang shunga na parang noon lang nakasightchinabelles ng notring eh . . . . joint na ren agad sa shower.

So, hayon na nga . . . ligo . . . . ligo. . . . shower . . .shower . . . . sabon . . . sabon . . . . himas . . . . himas . . . .

Kelangan talagang may mga eksenang ganito ?!?!?!?!

Alam 'nyo na ha.

Shumoyo siya sa shorlikod kez at sinabon niya ang likodstra kembang. Bet ko sanang ichika na galingan niya ang paghagod dahil paminsan-minsan lang ako nakakapag-hilod ng likod. Pero wittelles ko naman na tinalak, baka eynimomentz eh masira lang ang momentum.

Then, unti-unti nang nag-iba ang mosyon ng kamay niya . . . . .gentler . . . softer . . . . nakakaerbog na ng fatalle. On my shoulders . . .on my chest (na di naman gaanong kalakihan) . . . . on my stomach (na panalo sa abs, charing!) . . . . on my navel . . . . parang ang mga kamay niya eh super explore na parang naghahanap ng "undiscovered territories" . . . . hanggang nakarating ang kamay niya sa "territory" na kanina pa eh willing na willing nang madiscover.

Witchelles ko na naiwasan ang panibugho ng pagkaCatherine-Zeta-Jones ko. Unti-unti nang nag-standing-ovation si junjun ko.

Humarap akembang sa kanya at mas lalong nanlaki ang mata kez. Tamang-tama nga ang pag-i-standing-ovation kez, dahil parang may pambansang awit na magaganap dahil merong nakatayong FLAGPOLE sa pagitan naming dalawa.

Shet na shet! As in shet na shet! No exaggerations . . . . . first time kong nakasightchinabelles ng malahiganteng notring na noong unang akala kez eh sa pantasya lang at sa dildo stores nag-e-exist!

Luluhod na sana akembang para sambahin ang pagkalalalake niya nang inunahan niya akez na lumuhod.

So, hinayaan ko na lang siya.

In total fairness naman, witchelles lang gifted ang notring niya . . . . gifted din siya sa paghada. Parang gusto ko tuloy mag-take ng crash course ng tamang paghada sa kanya.

So, hayon nga . . . . .

Tapos, bigla siyang shumoyo. Akala ko naman eh it's my turn . . .but then, ginetching niya ang shondomey na nakashotong sa lababo at ijinuot sa junjun kez.

Nyeta. Pabona ang potah!

Wala naman na akong choice eh andon na eh.

Shumorlikod siya again . . . and then . . . . . you know na what happened.

Ang mga tunog na nililikha ng malakas na buhos ng tubig sa shower ay napalitan ng mga halinghing at ipit na sigaw na sa una eh sigaw ng sakit pero nang sa kalaunan ay naging sigaw ng sarap.

Ang mabangong amoy ng sabon at shampoo ay napalitan ng mabigat na hangin na ibinubuga ng mga nag-uuminit na katawan.

Sa mga oras na iyon . . . . ang dalawa ay naging isa . . . . .

Hanggang sa . . . .

End of dookit.

Ayun lang.

Pagkashorpos ng shower-slash-dookit eh nagbihis na ren siya. Nagpasalamat at nagpaalam.

Sa loob-loob ko naman eh nyeta yon ha . . . . useless naman yata masyado ang kadakilaan ng junjun niya. Pero deadma . . . nag-enjoy din naman akez.

Nashogod akembang ng slight. May-i-higa-higaan portion akez sa bed habang inaasam-asam si Zanjoe Marudo sa loob ng bahay ni Kuya.

Nakakaborlog-borlog na akembang nang biglang nag-ringingbelles-jingle-belles ang phonil kez. Pag-sight kez sa screen eh "Private Number" ang talak.

Answer akez.


"Are you the stranger?" sagot naman ng boses sa kabilang linya. Malalim at malaki ang boses niya. Buong-buo. Super DEEP VOICE.

Witchelles akez nakashorgot dahil honestly eh wala akong idea sa sinasabi niya.

"You gave me your number over the internet," sabi ni DEEP VOICE

Ahhhhhh. Okay. So, isa ito sa mga prospective bookings.

"Oh yeah . . . " chika ko na lang.

"So, wanna go out?"

Ichichika ko sanang super pagoda tragedy na akembang but then, I felt something . . . . na-curious naman akez bigla dahil sobrang ganda ng boses niya. Parang boses pa lang eh ulam na! Keri nang mag-mega-shingger-lickin'-good-at-KFC na ang drama mo habang pinapakinggan ang boses niya at solb-solb na.

"Ano naman ang gagawin natin," chika ko. SWITCH to flirt mode.

"Coffee . . . . I know a great place . . . . a must-go-to here in Davao."

"Okay. Sige."

"Okay then, I'll pick you up at your hotel, say in 20 minutes?"

"Can you make it 10?"