Saturday, January 02, 2010

LADY GAGA - BOYFRIENDS - GIRLFRIENDS

Naganap ang isang bonggang-bonggang year-end party for our employees. Normal thing na itu sa ‘men but most of the times eh deadmatology lang ang beauty ko na super lafang and super nomu lang on the side. But this year is a lot more different for me.

Super dare sa ‘ken ang mga closest friendiva kez sa office. Kelangan ko raw gumawa nang eksena sa party. Fine!

So that night before pa magstart ang party eh nag may-I-rescue 911 sa ken si Kiara. Nag-meet kami sa Starbucks Metrowalk para mai-deliver niya sa ‘ken ang mga kontrabando: ang platinum wig, ang outfit, ang muk-up, ang shu-ez. Walang nakakalearn na may performance segment ang lola niyo since I decided to make it as a surprise.

Sa kalagitnaan nang partibelles eh nag-change costume na akembang. At after 30 minutes eh naloka na lang ang mga utash nang biglang may kyumosok na Lady Gaga at jumokyat nang stage.

At siyempre .. anu pa nga ba ang ensemble .. kundi Bad Romance … na kinarir kong isangaling nang live … at thank you sa youtube … at nakapagdownload akembang nang instrumental.

RAH-RAH-RAH-AH-AH
ROMA-ROMA-AH-AH
GA-GA-OOH-LA-LA




Tumambling ang lahat nang utash at bigla na lang nabuhayan ang super boredom na party. Next thing I know eh super-tili na ang mga utash at feeling concert queen na ang drama ko sa life.

Hanggang sa mapostcard ang segment kez with PPPPP-POKER FACE in barefoot dahil nagdecide akong shonggalin ang nakakalokang 5-inch stilletoes na pinahiram sa kin ni Kiara in the middle of the performance/dance number dahil .. ilang beses akong muntik na tumambling literally.

Super appalause naman ang mga utaw, then, nagchange costumer na ulit akez to my normal self. In fairness, witchelles naman lahat eh nakakilala sa ken so keri-keri lang.

Super chika ang isang male friend kez na isang super feat raw ang na-achieve ko kaya bilib ang lolo mo to the highest level.

Somehow, it felt really good …

In almost three years in the office, di raw nila akez naperceive na ganong klaseng badinggerzie that would go in drag and perform.

Well, my point naman sila. I guess, na-suppress ng corporate world ang screaming badinggerzie in me. I have always been the meekly, silent-type badinggerzie in the office.

Chika ko naman, keri lang … wala naman akong dapat ikahiya and besides … badinggerzie naman akez … and it felt really good to just step out of your comfort zone and be Lady Gaga for one night.

Sa office, I have always been afraid to talk about my preference and flaunt it especially to those na witchelles ko naman close, and of course sa mga bosses and sa mga clients. Parang ever since the time has begun, merong unwritten rule na kapag pula ang hasang mo at bumubuga ka nang apoy eh kelangan mong magpakademure to be in the safe side, otherwise you’ll never gain respect from your colleagues and especially sa subordinates mo.

I know that I should be the last person to believe in such, but in the real world, ganon talaga ang kalakaran. Not everytime eh pwede kang kumanta nang, “If you’re happy and you’re gay … you clap your hands!”

I have experienced na ren naman a share of discrimination from the conservative corporate bosses. Although not really out in the open as in blatantly discriminating you but I have always felt na may mga “just because he’s gay” moments. But the good point is that, I never let it get on my way. I always make it as a motivating factor to strive hard and prove myself better. So far, eh successful naman akembang. I have climbed up the organizational ladder faster than most of the other heterosexual guys in the office.

Later habang nililigpit ko na ang costume ko eh na-realize kong nawawagtus pala ang isang shu-ez kez. Na-imagine ko na si Kiara, Channel pa naman itu, for sure eh baka gamitin niya yung isang shu-ez at saksakin na lang ako gamit ang heels.

Super walk around akez sa venue, secretly hoping na ma-sight kez ang isang shu-ez. Pero wrong, witchelles ko na iteckla na-sight.

*

The following day sa office eh business as usual. Isang toneladang emails, reports, meeting-galore. Later ko na na-meet si MHW for our weekly one-on-one. Patapos na din ang mentorship kez, so weekly na lang kami nagsa-sight and that day will be our final meeting and keri ko na siyang i-certify and he will be on his own.

Shinornong ko siya if he was in the party the other night dahil parang witchelles ko siya na-sight.

Chika niya, he arrived na daw late at but not late enough para maabutan si Lady Gaga performing.

Chiko ka naman, “Oh yeah! She’s great noh?”

“I love her performance,” sabay talak ni MHW. Then, he opened his bag and pulled out a shoe. “I saw her shoe, and picked it up,” chika habang super smile.

I know that he knows na akez si Lady Gaga.

“I better get that and give it to her coz she’s looking like crazy for it,” talak kez sabay harbat nang shoez at may-I-put sa drawer.

“How come you don’t like me?” bigla ko nalang na-versa kay MHW. Pati akez eh naloka sa lumabas sa bibig ko. Siguro, it was the lady gaga in me.

Parang, at that very second eh betchay ko naman bawiin at i-erase-erase-erase ang chinika kez but then no!

“What makes you think I don’t?”, sumagot na lang bigla si MHW.

Ping! Ping! Ping! Kinu-ping kuping!

“I don’t know … you don’t talk to me as a “person”. Pag inaaya ka namin, you don’t want to go out with us …”

“Maybe because if I did, your boyfriend would kill me …”

Tambling another ….

“Boyfriend …”

“Juan! Aren’t you a couple or something?”

“Juwhaaat?! Si Juan? He’s just a very close “straight” friend. At wala akong boyfriend … “

“Well … that’s a good thing.”

“Good?”

“I mean, at least you’re single. You can do whatever you want.”

“No naman. I think you’re so much better, kasi you have a girlfriend, you’re in a relationship?”

“Girlfriend?”

“I thought you’re taken …”

“Wala kong girlfriend …. But I have a boyfriend though …”

Tsugug!

*

11 comments:

Gerard Catedrilla said...

madali na lang yan. Papadala ko na ang bomba para pasabugin ang kalaban.

Ready?

joelmcvie said...

AHAHAHAHA!

TAMBLING TO DEATH! TAMBLING TO THE RINGS OF SATURN AND BACK!

'Neng, i-tumbling mo na siya to your bed. Etchoz. =)

BERNADETTE said...

@gerard: go ... hahahaha .... pwede bang isako na lang at iligaw sa divisoria ....

@mcvie: we'll get there .. hahaha .. choz

citybuoy said...

hala. tsugug talaga! haha akalain mo yun? sya rin ba yung from your previous posts?

wala bang video sa youtube yang lady gaga moment mo? haha mahanap nga.

may kasabihan tayo, mas madaling hulihin ang manok pag nakatali na. ang sabi ko naman, hindi manok ang boyfriend ko! haha

BERNADETTE said...

@cb: yup .. siyang-siya nga ...

wala pang video sa youtube e ... sadly ...

as for the manok .... hmmmm ... pwede nmang makawala ito sa pagkakatali paminsan minsan .. at tumuka nang ibang "brand" nang palay ..

hahaha

Lance said...

kulang nalang ang disco stick/mic and purrrrrfect na ang gaga ensemble mo lol! Sana sinabi mo kay MHW "i want your love and i want your lover's revenge. You and me can write a bad romance." LOL!

MkSurf8 said...

hahaha i like tsugug!!!!

balik mo sa na lang sa kanya ang heels ni lady gaga para remembrance.

~Carrie~ said...

Aaaaaayy! Pinigilan ko lang mapatili sa opisina. Na-excite daw ako dun.

dyakks said...

napatambling din ako dun..hanggang japan..LOL

blagadag said...

OY TEKA LANG. anong episode yung MHW? na luz akech.

Jhezper Driedfish said...

mare napanuod ko na ang video via claude .. wala akong masabi!!! ... ikaw na si Miss GwaGwa Pampanga!