PUSONG MAMON, BITUKANG DRAGON

CREDITS START ROLLING OVER BLACK

STARRING

Bernadette as himself

Rica as himself

Prince as himself

Claude as not in himself

As we fade in to

SCENE 1. INT. CLAUDE'S HOUSE. DAY

We see a very minimalistic living room. A sofa set covered in thick black leather. It does not look comfortable to sit at. It appears very stiff that when you sit on it, you're butt will turn flat. An eight-foot black and white vase stands in one corner and a skinny lampshade on the other. The vast living room looks like the owner hasn't finished unpacking after moving in.

Cut to

SCENE 2. INT. CLAUDE’S HOUSE. DAY. -same-

Voices can be heard. Chinas, metal utensils and glasses complete the noise from the dining area. We move from the living room to where the noises are coming and it gets louder as we see three guys sitting around a round glass table.

CLAUDE is slouching on his chair. His legs crossed. His plate got traces of croissant. He has a clean hair cut, almost like the marines. His white polo is neatly pressed as well as his jeans. He got a very stern face. No reaction as the other two are talking. He is just playing with his goatee.

On his right is RICA, talking while eating. His croissant is nearly finished and he takes another one from a bigger plate in the center of the table. He is a little fat but not totally. He is in the middle of medium and large. His face is very animated, with eyebrows rising and lowering with the tone of his voice as well as his hands regardless of the fact that he's using them for eating.

Sitting across him is Bernardette. The croissant on his plate has barely been touched. He is the smallest among the three. His hair is messy and his shirt doesn't match his pants. He is talking to Rica but it seems that his thoughts are somewhere else.

He is not looking looking at Rica, just staring at the croissant on his plate as

BERNZ: Do you think I'm pathetic for hoping?


Rica suddenly raised an eyebrow. Obviously the question is completely out of their topic.

RICA: Hoping for what? I don't get what you mean.

BERNZ: (Still not looking at Rica) About Varsity Captain. About what happened.

Rica, suddenly knowing what the question is about, suddenly gets reenergized.

RICA: Dahleng, you are not pathetic. You're just being yourself. And you can't like blame your saril naman. You felt sorta like in love da 'vah? That's just the right thing to do or to expect.

Claude, listens, still with an expressionless face, just playing with his goatee as

CLAUDE: For me, no . . . . no . . . you are not pathetic. Let me just say, you are soooooo dumped.

BERNZ: Thank you Claude for being such a very very good and honest friend.

CLAUDE: Well, you know me friend. I only speak the truth.

BERNZ: Well, you know friend. Try lying for once, it's the world's currency.

Claude suddenly shifts and fakes a pitiful face as

CLAUDE: And, ano naman ang gusto mong sabihin ko? Uhmmmm . . . . That that guy is so out of his freaking mind for blowing you off? Or, do you want me to say na, hindi mo siya kawalan, kawalan ka niya? Or, when a door closes a window opens?

BERNZ: Enough na nga. Wag na natin siyang pag-usapan. Ayaw ko na siyang isipin.

Bernz holds the glass of water, he is about to drink when

RICA: Ateh. Yan din ang sinabi mo 'non 'nung na-learn mong he's making karir the jowa of Robin. Then you said it again 'nung he told you na he likes this certain kaklase. Hmmmm. Aminin.

Bernz is still holding the glass of water.

BERNZ: Yeah. Pero ngayon iba na. Ibang level na 'to. May JOWA na siya. At ayaw ko mang pumayag. Wala na akong magagawa.

Bernz drinks.

RICA: Sure ka na ba?

Bernz continues to drink then puts the glass down, already empty.

BERNZ: Sure na!

RICA: Final answer.

BERNZ: Uhmmmm . . . . . sure na.

CLAUDE: What if he comes running back to you, begging for love and forgiveness?

BERNZ: Then, I'll accept him. Why not naman? Gusto ko rin naman.

RICA: Ayan na nga ba ang sinasabe ko eh.

CLAUDE: That's fair, but make sure that when you meet again. Try to have SEX with him na so that you'll get even. Para at least walang bitterness.

BERNZ: So, feeling nyo may bitterness ako ngayon dahil hindi kami nag-do?

CLAUDE & RICA: Yeah.

BERNZ: Mga luka-luka!

Prince comes in from the kitchen carrying a pitcher of juice. Prince is not as uptight-looking as Claude. He looks more like nerdy with the horn-rimmed glasses on his face.

CLAUDE: (with a softer voice) Prince, we're finished na. Can you get na the plates?

PRINCE: Sure.

Prince is smiling at Claude as he gets the plate.

Claude is also smiling. The first time he smiles.

CLAUDE: Thank you.

Claude moved his hand underneath the table and touched Prince's thigh.

CLAUDE: And since you're going there. Can you get na rin the tissue?

PRINCE: Okay.

CLAUDE: Thank you.

Prince smiles at Claude again and winks as he goes back to the kitchen.

Bernz notices what happened. He puts a grin and

BERNZ: So, Claude. While I am being dumped by a guy whom I thought is my 'this is it' and Rica here is having the time of his life with his two-timer lover . . . .

RICA: Ehem.

BERNZ: Rather, second-timer lover. Anung eksena mo?

CLAUDE: Same. Work. Home. Work. Home. Fuck. Work. Home.

BERNZ: Parang may hindi ka sinasabi sa 'men?

CLAUDE: What?

BERNZ: You know, this, (fakes a girly voice) "Prince, can you do this. Thank you. Prince, can you like get that. Thank you. Prince, can you. Prince. Prince. Prince". And then, with the haplos on the side.

CLAUDE: Well, we're . . . uhmm . . . . well . . . . . uhmm . . . .

RICA: Hmmmmmmm. Walang masagot. Is he living here with you na?

CLAUDE: No. Well, yes. But not totally. Until he gets a permanent place. Remember, he just got transferred from Bohol di ba?

BERNZ: Correction. He requested for him to be transferred para lang masundan ka niya dito sa Maynila.

RICA: Oh my fucking shit!!!!

Rica suddenly stands making the chair slide back causing a noise. The two gets shockes with Rica's sudden reaction. His jaw dropped. He appears to be very disbelieving as he puts his right hand over his widely opened mouth and

RICA: Our oldest and bitchiest sister is in-love……

BERNZ: At last, na-prove ko rin sa sarili ko na tao ka rin pala katulad namen.

CLAUDE: Guys, can we not make a big deal out of this.

RICA: You're blushing.

BERNZ: How can we not make a big deal out of this? The last time that you were on a relationship was . . . . . . Rica?

RICA: Jurassic age.

BERNZ: See!!! Hindi mo naman kelangang itago sa 'men. Nahihiya ka pa.

CLAUDE: And these things are exactly the reasons why I don't want to tell you. Stop making a fuzz.

RICA: Hahahahaha! O baket ngayon parang you can't make out strong words? What happened to the Claude that we used to know that never buckles and always on the negative side.

CLAUDE: Because . . . uhmmmm

RICA: See . . . . (sings and dances) Claude and Prince . . . sitting by the tree . . . K . I . S . S . I . N . G.

CLAUDE: Tama na yan.

BERNZ: Okay.

The three go silent for a minute.

BERNZ: (to Claude) Do you have yosi?

CLAUDE: I don't smoke anymore.

Rica moved his chair closer to Claude and sits.

RICA: Since when . . . ?

Prince comes in with a napkin holder.

Rica looks at Prince as he walks towards them.

BERNZ: I guess, your answer just walked in.

RICA: Owwwwwwwww. I see.

Prince seems to be lost in the conversation as he stands close to Claude.

RICA: Prince, I would like to say congratulations. You know what is the current condition of the last person who told Claude not to smoke?

Prince is still clueless.

PRINCE: Uhmmm . . . . Hindi naman sa . . .

RICA: He's on a wheelchair.

PRINCE: Ha? Nilumpo nya? (pointing at Claude)

RICA: No naman. Uhmmmm. That day. 'Nung napika ang ateh ko. Tinalak-talakan niya the guy. As in sobrang warla. Then the guy, started cryin, didn't know what to do. Umalis dito, running away, out of his mind. Then, crosses the street then boom. He was hit by a jeep.

Prince is surprised by what he heard.

RICA: So conrgratulations. It's amazing that you can still stand in two feet. I guess our friend, really loves you then.

CLAUDE: I don't believe in love. And I am not in love.

Claude stands immediately and walks away from the dining area.

Cut to:

SCENE 3. INT. CLAUDE'S HOUSE. GARAGE

Claude is leaning on the hood of his car. Looking out the street as kids in bicycles pass.

Then we hear . . .

BERNZ: Claude, you do not have to deny yourself the fact that you are still capable of loving.

CLAUDE: I promised myself that I will not fall in love again.

Bernz goes in front of Claude. Claude moves away and opens the gate. He starts to pick dry leaves scattered in front of his house.

BERNZ: Okay so. What is Prince doing here?

CLAUDE: (Not looking at Bernz) He wants to be here. He wants to be with me. I'm just giving him what he wants.

BERNZ: But don't you feel guilty at all? I mean, we all know that this guy loves you like hell. And then, you're like this? You have to think about this.

Claude stands to face Bernz.

CLAUDE: I have already thought about it for a hundred times already, thank you. I know that there's some sort of whatever the fuck you call it, love or emotions coming from him but I told him from the beginning, and I was very clear that he should not expect those shit coming from me. And he agreed. We are in good terms, we like each other, we are getting along pretty well. But we are not lovers like what you hopeless romantics are thinking.

BERNZ: Is that possible? (beat) And by the way, we are not hopeless romantics.

CLAUDE: Possible? You're already seeing it happen.(beat) And by the way, Yes! You are hopeless romantics.

Frame freezes.

Fade to black.