EASY COME ... EASY GO part 2

Witchelles ko felt ang mga ganitrix na drama. So mega habulan portion na nga sa kalagitnaan ng madaling araw sa kahabaan ng Makati Ave.

Parang may Takbo para sa Kalikasan na nagaganap. Nauuna si Charles, then sumusunod lang sa kanya si UPboy at may-I-follow naman akey kay UPboy at meha-follow naman sa aken si payatollah-kumeyni.

Hanggang sa nag-turn sila sa isang corner.

Pagkaturn ko naman eh nakasalubong ko na lang si UPboy na pajolik na. Mega-ask akey hey hey hey kung nasaanchinabelles na si Charles. At ang chika niya eh may-I-para na ng shoxiebelles at umiskrang!

Harsh!

'Ni witchelles man lang daw sila nagkabersahan.

Tumalikod na agad akez habang ineefort pa ni UPboy na chikahin akey. Pero derm!
Habang sumushokno palayo kay UPboy at kay payatollaj-kumeyni eh ginetching key ang nyelplaks ko to text Charles: NASAN KA NA?

MESSAGE SENDING FAILED . . . . . sabeeeeeee ba naman ng nyekplaks key!

Pukinginamesh!!!!!

Sa minalas-malas ba naman?!

I needed to get my phone loaded. Super shokbo akey to the nearest convenience store. Paggetching ko naman ng walley kez eh washington akong nasight na adez . . . . imberna!

Narealize kong naconvert na sa vodka ang lahat ng adez key hey hey hey!

So megarendezvous na naman akey to the nearest ATM.

Punyeta! For the past fifteen minutes eh wai akez ginawa kundi shumokbo nang shumokbo na parang walang kinabukasan. MENTAL NOTE: Wala munang treadmill sa Slimmers World for this week.

Pag-aarive ko sa ATM eh . . . . wala namang adez ang machine.

So rendezvous na naman.

2nd ATM . . . . . eh wala pa ring adez . . . .

Nyeta! Hanggang narealize key na Saturday pala.

Nasuyod ko na yata ang buong Makati Ave sa kahahanap ng ATM na bet magluwal ng salapi. Nakaabot na akez ng Buendia pero . . . . . washington pa ren!

Biglang nagtext si Charles:

I DNT WANNA SAY BAD THNGS TO U PERO I CNT BLIV IT I SWEAR . . . . U RILLY WANNA
KNOW KNG ANU UNG NGYARI? . . . . SABI NUNG KAUSAP M DUN SA FRND KO NA NAGSEX
KAYO . . . AND U LEFT ME WTHOUT SYING ANYTHING NA MAGYOYOSI K LANG? I KNOW U SAW
ME BACK DER CUZ U STOPD . . . ANU IICPN KO SA YO NIAN EH MAY KSMA KNG IBA NON .
. . . =' (

WADDAF*CK!!!!

Shoot . . . . at that moment eh bukod sa pagjikot ng mundo ko dahil sa sipa ni Kylie, at bukod sa mamasa-masa kong likod na nagwe-wetdreams na dahil sa pawis . . . eh yung feeling na another person is completely out of his mind for thinking such things . . . . and you want to defend yourself dahil . . . . he's completely out of his mind nga . . . . simply illogical . . . then washington akong magawa. I almost gave up. Part of me says na . . . shumorlikod na lang akey . . . at magfly na at nang makajuwelyon na . . . . pero I'm not that type that can just walk away from things unless I can fix it the soonest possible time.

I noticed na may variables pa pala akez sa coat pocket ko. Binilang ko ang tiglilimang pisong variables. Enought to get me a load.
So . . . . run to death na naman sa 711.

Habang super run akez to 711 eh may shoxiebelles na juminto ara sa tabi ko.

"Is everything fine?" chika nung nakassakay sa taxi na nung masight kez eh si payatollah-kumeyni pala yung tumalak with UPboy.

"Nothing is fine at this moment!!!!! It is because of you and your filthy mouth! Go back to payatas and eat your 5 pesos lugaw!!!!!"





I wish I could've said that with matching flying kick, haduken and a Miriam Quiambao
smile. But I didn't. I'm more concerned to get a load and talk to Charles!

Then, another teksami from Lester:

I NID UR RPLY NOW . . . . =' (

"Wait lang! Wait lang! Wait lang! Wait lang!", chika ko sa phone ko habang pinagtitinginan akez ng mga utawsingbelles sa 711.

Derm!

At finally eh nakapagpaload din akey!

I made a 232 call dahil sa Globe . . . Posible!

BADINGGERZIE: Where are you? Let's talk. I'm here along Makati Ave, dazed, drunk and catching my breath. If you'd only know what I've been through for the past thirty minutes just for me to make this call.

CHARLES: I'm here in Kamagong at my cuz's place.

BADINGGERZIE: I'll go there. I can't settle this over the phone.

CHARLES: Let's just talk tomorrow.

BADINGGERZIE: Di pwede, Charles! I needed to settle this once and for all. Pupunta ako jan. I only have a limited load. Pupunta ako sa Shopwise and I'll wait for you there now. And I won't leave, kahit abutin pa ako nang tanghaling tapat, hangga't di mo ko sinisipot.

After the call, I hailed a cab.

Sa loob ng shoxiebelles eh naloka akez dahil . . . . . wala nga akong adez!

HARSH!

On the way to Kamagong, chinika ko na lang young shoxie druvang to stop kung may ATM siyang masa-sighteous dahil wala nga akong maipe-paysung sa kanya. SIguro naaawa din ang shoxie druvang dahil lukresia kasilag na nga ang drama ko with all the swearing and sweating!

Nakatatlong ATM kami . . . . . hanggang sa may natiyempuhan akong machine na nagluwal ng salapi.

Nang makarating akez sa Shopwise eh nag-aagaw na ang dilim at liwanag. Jumupo na lang akez sa sidewalk. Super teksami kay Charles na andoonchinabelles na akez.
I felt bad. Honestly, I cried a tear or two while sitting on that sidewalk. Witchelles ko learn kung baket. I guess dahil sa situation. It is too early for us to be having such a cataclysmic event. At ang nakakaimberna pa doon eh it's all circumstantial and speculation . . . .napakawalang saysay. I was out for fifteen fucking minutes . . . and suddenly I had sex na . . . . anu ako? Pusa?! . . . I cheated na raw and all that crap . . . . while the whole night eh he was out there . . . smooching around not only with payatollah-kumeyni, which reminded me not to kiss Charles again that night without disinfecting him and making him bathe in isopropyl alcohol, but with two other streotypes (hunkylicious-commonfaced-looking-for-a-quick-and-easy-lay-government-groupie-high-in-E-type). I didn't evem raise a single eyebrow. And now . . . . I'm the bad guy!

Habang super jisip sa mga pangyayari eh may-I-ask naman akey sa sarili key: What am I still doing there? I can just shove everything up to Charles' tight A . . . . and call it a night. If he could go ballistic for such a petty thing then . . . . what else could he go ballistic for?

But then, I still to explain. Kailangan kong marealize niya na what he did is not right. And not only he ruined my evening. He also ruined my respect for him.
After a couple of minutes . . . . he came with "I-was-cheated-I'm-feeling-bad-right-now" written all over his face.

"What happened there?" I asked the soonest time na jumupo siya sa tabi ko.

"Sinabi nung guy na kasama ko kanina na sinabi daw sa kanya nung guy na kasama mo na nakipagsex ka raw sa kanya."

"How could've that happened? me and the guy were together the whole time, outside, for fiteen minutes or so, nagyoyosi. Then, I went back, saw you . . . and you already have this face. So how can that guy, that I'm with, tell that stupid guy that you're with, na we had sex. Well unless that he is a telepath?! (Sigh . . . sabay iling ng ulo) Weren't you able to figure it out? It is very simple: The guy that you're with wanted to sleep with you. He'll do anything and say anything to discredit me. He made up this very absurd story . . . to get into your pants and unfortunately, sinakyan mo naman. The good thing though, is that, you didn't let himget into your pants."

He thought about what I said. It took him siguro mga around five minutes to let all the logic sink in. Until, he realized na tama ako.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad or angry . . . . . Hindi
ko alam kung anong mukha ang ihaharap ko sa mga friends mo."

*

In normal circumstances, I would have let it just pass but i don't know if I've grown more stupid or wiser not being able to get into a steady relationship and get my heart broken so may fucking times . . . . . . because after that conversation . . . . I decided to put an end to whatever me and Charles have.

It was a major turn-off. Halitosis, seborrhea or crabs . . . . I could still handle and wouldn't be so much of a pain in the A . . . . but being plainly stupid. That is harder to handle.

Harsh na kung harsh, pero that was what came into my freaking mind.

I didn't stick it up to him that morning. I waited three days to convince myself kung bibigyan ko ba itu ng another chance or . . . . I'll just call it quits.

After three days . . . . I bought a CD of My Chemical Romance, he wanted that CD. I found that out nung nasa Music One kami sa Greenbelt looking for a gift for Rica. I met him, we had our usual dinner, gave him the CD and broke up with him.

The Bernard-Charles show was over. Maraming nanghinayang kasi nga naman, in fuhrness, he's definitely a good catch. Being being a good catch doesn't add up to so much as to just being a good catch, I'm looking for somebody who's more matured, who thinks outside the box and who would actually last for more than thirty thousand two hundred forty minutes.

And I hate to say the old adage: "EASY COME . . . . EASY GO!"

EASY COME . . . . . . EASY GO

"Anyway, pagdating kay Varsity Captain eh ibang usapan na 'yon. Katulad nga
nang nasabe ko before: malay ko, malay mo, malay nating lahat . . . . na this is
it . . . .this is really really it! It seems like I've been waiting for "tunay
na pag-ibig" all my life. At feeling ko eh si Varsity Captain na nga ang tunay
na pag-ibig na hinahanap-hanap ko. Well, well, well. Oo nga naman. Pwede 'nyo
ring ichika na nagpapaka-ilusyonada lang ako dahil iilang araw pa lang kaming
magkakilala ni Varsity Captain but the thing is . . . I'm feeling this tingly
feeling . . . these butterflies in my stomach . . . the spark in my eyes . . . .
the feeling of flying on the wings of love ala ate Reg . . . tuwing kasama ko
siya . . . kausap ko siya . . . ka-text ko siya . . . .iba talaga . . . as in .
. . ibang-iba. Parang everyday is a sunny Sunday morning."

ISA ITONG MALAKING CLICHE!

Tingnan nyo nga naman kung gaano akez kagaga! Yang mga katagang yan ang mga naisulat key mga isang taon na ren ang nakakalipas . . . . mga kagagahan sa paghahanap ng "tunay na pag-ibig". Nyeta! I don't believe in love anymore . . . . pero geto . . . same exact words ang namumutawi sa bibig ko . . . ngayong nakilala ko si Charles! Pero . . . . pero . . . . pero . . . invulnerable na akez ngayon. Alam ko for a fact na pwedeng Sweet November lang ang drama namin . . . . pang-thirty days. I like the bagets, I can't help it! Pero I vowed na I wouldn't invest so much when it come to emotions. Bwahahahahaha! The crying days were over. Enjoy lang 'til it last!

We were on outr third week 'nung birthday bash ni Rica. Three days bago yung Saturday na yon eh binagtas k oang kahabaan ng Taft sa katanghaliang tapat . . . . imaginin nyo na lang kung nakailang pahid akez ng SPF 40 . . . para lang masundo si Charles sa school niya. Shet! Kakayanin nyo ba ang eksena? May-I-sundo here, sundo there . . . sundo everywhere ang drama ko noh! Witchelles kong inakalang dadating ako sa puntong yon. Ang masculine ng drama da 'vah? Anyway, yung araw na yon eh nag-early dinner lang kami at chinika ko nga na siya ang date ko sa birthday ni Rica. Pagkatapos non eh naghanap lang kami ng chipipay na motmot malapit sa Rob's place para magdookit. Well, wala nang panahon noh. Witchelles naman nang keri na umatak pa sa balaychina ko dahil sa Pasig na ako nakatira . . . .witchelles naman ding kering umatak sa balaychina niya dahil sa far-away-Paranaque pa siya nakatira (with his lola and sister). Kaya't pag inabot ng kakatihan sa daan eh MotMot lang ang kasagutan!


Okay! Fast-forwarding na sa birthday ni Rica . . . .

That Saturday eh nagkita muna kami ni Charles sa Glorietta. Konting walk, super jisip kung anetch ang gift na kering i-givesung kay Rica. Then, dinner sa Cafe Bola, which I might say . . . is a must-to-eat place. Mukha lang siyang maharlika, pero naman, Margarita Fores will never fail you . . . yum yum. At morayta lang siya ha sa totoong buhay!

Napiga na halos ang mga utak namin ni Charles sa kajijisip kung anetchiwang gist ang proper kay Rica hanggang sa nainis na lang ako at nagdecide na bumili na lang wine sa Marks&Spencers . . . . murayta yung wine pero sosyal ang packaging! Haha!

Dapat sa BlueWave ang celebration, in time for the final day of the World Pyrolympics ecklavu . . . . but since lahat ng taxi na pumara sa amen eh chinichikang di na raw kami makakaalis ng buhay sa area na yon dahil sa sobrang plentibelles ng utash na parang trip to Mecca na ang labanan eh binorwagan ko na si Rica at chinika ang status ng shropikey hey hey hey! So . . . atak na lang sa second choice, which is Tiananmen.

Nauna na kami ni Charles. Medyo forty-eight years in the preparation kasi ang lola Rica ko na kasalukuyan pa yatang nagpapabotox nung mga oras na 'yon. So mingmingan lang kami ni Charles. Sa truthfulness lang eh pagmagkajoint kami eh I don't feel anything special. Witchelles ko learn kung dahil I'm in a defensive mode o dahil bland lang talaga ang combination namen. Not that sa witchelles kami nag-uusap or super boring ng momentzzzz namin together, in fact, super holding hands pa nga kami . . . pero ganun lang.. May kilig factor to the very very very very very slight level pero hindi umaabot sa tumbling and cartwheel level.

Mga 12 na nung dumating si Rica together with isang batallion niyang friends from the other side of his world. Dinedma ni Claudine ang event dahil witchelles daw niyang bet makipagnyostikan sa ibang friends ni Rica.

Nagsimula na ang celebration at piging kung piging ang labanan. Yung mga tipong lafangan marathon na parang bibitayin ka na sa susunod na araw. Tumagal-tagal pa ang lafangan at nomuhan session. May nafi-felt akong kakaiba kay Charles. Witchelles ko kearn kung naa-out-of-place siya o nabo-boredom siya o ano. Witchelles pa siya nagnonomo. Super try naman akong iaccommodate siya to get into the prgram pero parang witchelles nagwo-work. Bet niya eh kaming dalawa lang ang nag-uusap. Sa tuwing umiisquierda akey para jumipat ng pwesto or chumika sa ibang veklores eh may-I-sight siya sa akin ng masama.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm . . . . . . .

"Dito ka lang sa tabi ko," chika na naman niya sa akin.

Okay fine!

Hanggang sa witchelles na talaga ako umalis sa tabi niya.

"Gusto kong magdance . . . . " chika niya.

Chika ko naman na magdance siya okay lang naman na magdance sa Tiananmen at super keri pa ang music galore. Pero witchelles daw niya bet with matching sad face.

"Okay, punta tayo ng Government," bera ko.

"Wag na lang. Sige, dito na lang tayo," chika niya na halata namang galing sa ilong.

Nagpapapilet pa eh! Felt na felt ko namang kating-kati na ang katawan niya for a dance floor. Nagdesisyon na akey na pumunta na talaga ng Government.

"Sigurado ka ba? Sige ka? Pag pumunta tayo ng Gov baka may magflirt sa kin," sabi ba naman niya.

"O eh ano ngayon?! E di makipagflirt ka hanggang gusto mo. Nasa sa iyo naman yon eh."

"Sa palagay mo ba naman eh magpapaflirt ako?"

"Honestly, I don't know. Pero kung meron man, sabi ko nga, nasa sa iyo yon. Matanda ka na. Marunong ka nang tumingin ng tama o mali."

So, nagpaalam na kami sa mga veklores, susunod na lang daw sila sa Gov.

130AM na yon nang maka-arrive kami sa Government na more na ang utash. I got my drinks, ayaw pa reng nomomu ni Charles.

Nasightsiwara ko pa si McVie don at more on chikahan lang kami. Pinakilala ko ren sa kanya si Charles na ikinatumbling naman ng lola ko.

Hanggang sa hinayaan ko na lang si Charles at naupo na lang ako sa couch sa first floor. Di ko namalayan eh nakaborlog na pala ako at ginising na lang akey ni Rica with the other badinggerzies.

Umakyat kami sa second floor and more party galore na naman. Sa second floor eh nasight ko si Charles na may kachikahang payatollah-kumeyni na veklore na mukang social-climber dahihl super effort sa pag-iinglet. Pero deadma lang ang beauty ko. I don't feel threatened. Next level na ren ang ninonomu ko . . . super absolut kylie na ang labanan. Super chikahan at super dance lang kami sa second floor, sa may bar. Hanggang sa may lumapit sa akin at nakipagdance. Hinawakan niya ang isang balikat kez at nagpakilala . . . . Cedrik daw ang namesung niya. In fairness eh pamilyar ang mukha niya. Forty-eight years ko na siguro siyang nakikita sa Government.

"I finally caught you off-guarded," saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe ba naman niya.

Smile lang ako.

Even though na hunkylicious siya . . . . sa truelili lang eh, di ko siya betchay.
Dance lang ako with him, pero yung mga tipong tinatamad na dance, for the sake of being polite. Hanggang sa may bumundol na lang sa akin at pag-sight ko eh si Charles, karay-karay yung social climber na payatollah-kumeyni na badette, pababa sa first floor.

Derm!

Dinispatcha ko na ren yung hunkylicious na Cedrik at proceed to the bar for more chikahan with the veklores.

After three more absolut kylies eh nasight kong nasa second floor na naman sila Charles.

Nagdecide akong lapitan ko na siya. Niyakap ko siya sabay kiss sa lips . . . para lang masight nung isang badette na nateritoryohan ko na siya. Hinalikan din naman niya ako.

Tapos eh hinayaan ko na naman siya. Mejo enggaloids na ren naman ako non. Super lean lang ako sa railings overlooking the dance floor sa baba.

"Baka mahulog ka . . . " may chumika sa 'kin.

"Imposible namang mangyari yon," sagot ko withtout looking at the personl.
Witchelles ko nang bet makipagkariran portion dahil uber enggaloids na akey hey hey hey hey na maski si Dennis Trillo pa ang humaltak sa akin at julikan akey hanggang sumirek ang araw eh dedeadmahin ko pa rin. And besides, I was there with Charles.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm more than okay. Thank you for asking."

"Lover mo yung kausap 'nung friend ko di ba?"

Aaaahh okay . . . . so friend pala siya ni payatollah-kumeyni. Pero mas magaling siyang mag-inglet ha.

Tumango lang ako.

"Care for a cigarette?"

"okay."

Sa smoking lounge lang sana kami pero narealize niyang wala pala siyang yosi. Lakas ng loob mag-aya noh? Inaya niya ako sa baba, para magbuysung ng yosi. Najiwan lang si Charles at yung payatollah-kumeyni na social climber sa shu-as.

So . . . . baba kami and buysung ng yosi sa labas.

Dun na ren kami nagsubey hey hey hey.

I didn't catch his name. Pero I learned na currently eh he's studying sa UP. So, we got into a conversation dahil sinabi kong grad ako ng UP. We had a nice talk sa labas. Pero hinestly eh walang halong libog yon. Di ko siya bet. More chikahan galore lang at ineeffort ko na ngang patiningin ang boses ko at papilantikin ang mga daliri ko noh para lang di siya magkainteres further.

Nakadalawang stick kami ng subaroo hanggang sa na-sightsiva ko na ang ibang veklores na friendiva ni Rica sa labas at paisquierda na raw sila. Nagpaalam na akey sa kachikahan ko at jumosok na sa Government.

Pagjosok ko eh sinalubong akey ni Rica, sabay chikang, "Bakla! Hinahanap ka ng asawa mo! Galit na galit. Nakipagsex ka raw?"

Ha?

Lumingon-lingon akey at napansin kong palabas ng byiarette si Charles. Pinuntahan ko siya agad para salubungin but then jumosok uli siya sa nyiarette . . . so josok din akey. Kinorner ko siya sa isang sulok at mega-ask kung anechiwa ang problema niya. Derm lang siya with matching titig na masama. Tinulak niya akey ng slight at umisquierda pa-exit ng nyiarette. May-I-follow na naman akey hanggang sa second floor. Umupo siya sa isang couch. Lumuhod naman akey sa harapan niya para kausapin ng masinsinan.

"What's up with you?"

"Nakipagsex ka no?" tanong niya with all the conviction ever!

Tumbling naman akey.

"Ha? Kanino naman?"

"Dun sa guy na kasama mo kanina . . . . "

"Ha? At paano naman? At saan naman kami nagsex? I was out for fifteen minutes . . . how far could we go?"

"I don't believe you."

Sabay walk-out.

Sinundan ko pa ren siya. Hanggang palabas ng Government.

Nakasalubong namin si UPboy . . . hinila ko siya. Witchelles ko learn kung baket . . . pero hinila ko siya . . .

Tinanong niya anetch ang problema.

Chinika ko na chinika ni Charles na nagdookit daw kami.

"I'll talk to him," chika niya.

Hanggang sa nagkaroon na ng habulan portion sa Makati Ave.


-2 be continued-

THINK POSITIVE (REPOST)

A night before Rica's big birthday bash . . . . .

"Bakla, di na ako nageenjoy . . . . " chika ni bakla habang nilalafang ang pangalawang whopper sa Wendy's sa Makati Ave.

"Baket naman?"

"Wala lang . . . everything seems to be superficial . . and empty. Parang walang sense," chika ni bakla with matching buntong hininga pa on the side. Witchelles ko lang learn kung ang buntong hininga eh dahil sa sama ng loob o dahil sa heaviness ng nilalapsalauriat niya.

Super sight lang ako sa friendiva ko for a minute. Jinijisip key kung anechiwa naman ang ichichika kez. I want to feel sorry for him pero parang di naman tama. Mas ma-ukani siya sa akin, mas maorwag ang estado ng buhay, at pagdating sa karera ng pag-ibig eh witchelles ko ren naman maichichikang mas lamang akembang eh pareho lang naman kaming zirowena kung tutuusin.

Naitalak ko na lang, "Bakla, exagerrated ka lang dahil alam mong tumatanda ka na."

"I'm tired of casual fucks . . . . . . I want to meet the right one . . . "

"Eh naghahanap ka naman kasi. Di ba katulad nga ng sabi nila . . . kapag pilit mong hinahanap ang isang bagay eh hindi mo makikita. At saka . . . saan ka ba nagbababad para makapaghanap ng right one? Sa Bed? Sa Government? Eh goodluck naman sa tunay na pag-ibig sa mga lugar na 'yon noh?"

Witchelles naman sa paninira or avratheng, I love Bed and Gov . . . they're like my second and third home . . . pero kung ang eksena mo sa buhay eh "love-hunting" eh witchelles ko naman yatang maipapayong doonchienabelles din shumoshombay si kupido para mamana ng mga ligaw na puso. Base na ren naman sa mga eksperhinsiya ni watashi noh! Let's take for example si Varsity Captain . . . nasightsiva ko siya Government. Yes! It's true! May moment nga kaming dalawa pero ang trulagen colagen sustagen na eksenachie ebok ala eh kung may napala ba kami sa isa’t isa?! Witchelles din noh! Dahil ang ending eh . . . . cry me a river pa ren ang eksena. Wai! Zirowena! Nada! Betlogs! Para pa rin akong si Sharon Cuneta na super singaling ng "Sanay Wala nang Wakas"!

In fairness naman kay Rica eh may effort. Nag-undergo siya ng isang total make-over na in fairness eh naging hottest namanchie siya after. Nag-lose din ng weight ang lola ko. Nagpabraces . . . nagpa chemical peel! Lahat lahat na lang ng mga kahibangang naimbento ng tao para magkaroon ng dyosa effect eh ginawa na niya. Pero until now eh hoping pa ren ang lola ko. So, I therefore conclude na . . it's not all about the looks.

Pagkashorpos ng lafangan marathon sa Wendy's na akala kez eh wai nang katapusan na halos ikinabaligtad ng sikmura kez eh umatakchinabelles na kami sa Tiananmen na ang pakay lang sana eh ang mag-occular dahil doonchinabelles niya binabalak mag-celebrar ng birthday niya kinabukasan. Pero ang occular eh nauwi din sa nomuhan session.

May-I-order agad ng isang bote ng Chilean wine si bakla at another set of lafang. Nahi-hearsung ko pa lang ang mga inoorderchina ni bakla eh najijisip ko na ang dyspepsia!

"Eh kamusta naman si Paul?" tanong ko kay Rica habang komportable na kaming nakasalampak sa mga unan sa Tiananmen.

Si Paul eh isa sa mga constant date ni Rica, na nakilala niya sa Gov. They've been going out for a month or two na yata.

"Okay lang naman. He'll go here later," bera ni Rica nang walang kaabog-abog.

"How about him? How's the two of you . . . . are you not working out?"

"Okay ka lang?"

Naloka ako . . . . . .

"I've learned something about him that made me want to make lipad na lang and live with the aborigines of Australia!"

"Like . . . . ."

"He's HIV positive . . . . "

Speecheless akey . . . habang may I continue lang sa pagnomu ang baklang Rica.

"Ayaw mong maniwala?"

Ginetching ni Rica ang waley niya at naglabas ng isang kapirasong papel. Isang photocopy ng HIV test galing sa San Lorenzo. Nasightsiva kez ang buong pangalan ni Paul at ang mga katagang "tested POSITIVE for HIV."

At saka hinarbat uli ni Rica ang papel at ibinalik sa waley.

Witchelles yata akez nakakurap non for a momentzzzzzz.

Ikinaloka ko ang eksena iyonchienabelles. Sa truelili lang . . . bago yong moment na yon eh parang dali-dali jisipin na 'you won't feel bad' . . . na 'you wont descriminate' . . . etc.

Pero witchelles kong bet magpakaipokrita and avratheng ha pero that moment eh pinilit kong irewind ang mga eksena na nakadaupang palad ko si Paul. Shet! Sabihin nyo nang ang bad-bad kez pero yun talaga ang najisip kez eh. Honestly, I've never been that close . . . I mean, lahat noon eh theoretical pero at that time eh I've stared at HIV na pala.

Nabalik din akez sa sariling katinuan and pulled back to earth after a few minutes. Jinisip ko na lang na witchelles ka naman talaga mahahawa kapag walang blood contact or unsafe sex. So far . . . di pa naman kami nageengage ni Paul sa neither.

Haaaaaaay. Kakalurkey!

"Don't ever tell him or make him feel na alam mo ha!" chika ni Rica.

Nag-promise naman ako though di ko surebelles kung mapapanindigan ko pa once na masightsiva kez uli siya.

Pero ang una’t huling katanung na jumosok sa isip kez eh . . . .

"Nagsex na ba kayo?"

Tumingin lang sa aken ng diretso si Rica . . . . . at sabay chikang . . . with all conviction . . .


"YES!"

Tumbling . . . . sabay cartwheel at split sa ere.

"Echoz lang mare!"

"Puta ka!"

"Muntik na kaming magsex . . . nung gabing yon . . . super foreplay na pero before we get to it eh chinika niya sa 'ken. Since, mabait naman daw ako at eh chinika niya sa 'kin na positive siya and gave me a choice kung betchay pa o di na betchay ang dookit scene."

"And then . . . . "

"Eh nawala ang urge ko eh so di na natuloy. He told me na usually daw eh di niya sinasabi sa makakasex niya na positive niya pero since yun nga na mabait naman daw ako eh he considers me as someone special . . . . inamin niya sa kin!"

Waddaf . . . . k!

"Meaning nakikipagengage siya sa unsafe sex?"

"To get even daw sa nakahawa sa kanya . . . . ."

Parang witchelles naman yata tama yon. Noong una eh witchelles kong bet magbago ang pagtingin ko kay Paul just because na positive siya and avratheng pero from what I've heard eh parang gusto ko naman yata siyang bigyang ng mag-asawang sampal at isang flying kick sa mukha!

Learn ko naman for a fact na nagiging plenty nga ang mga positive na badinggerzie sa Manaylus. It’s just a matter of being fortunate or unfortunate, kung minalas eh di malas. Learn kong sensitive ang entry na iteckla pero I might as well make chika dahil I felt bad from what I’ve heard. Yes! Tama nga . . . up to this moment eh I still stand sa point na witchelles dapat pandirihan or isegregate ang mga positive, dahil we’re still one and the same. It's still not right to look down at them pero . . . . bakit naman ganon si Paul?! He may have been suffering more than we do. There's no way of telling kung anechiwa ang mga nagaganap sa utak niya or sa utak ng isang positive for that matter. Given the fact na learn mey na na eynimomentz eh matitigbak ka na lang at unti-unting pagkatigbak itey. It must be hard . . . hard at HARSH talaga . . . . pero I don’t think na that’s enough reason to help spread the VIRUS around. Just because nahawaan ka . . . fine . . nobody wants it . . . and fuck the person who did that to you . . . pero still . . that’s still not a valid reason para gawing parang friendster ang virus na pag bet mo eh you’ll give another person a chance to have HIV din. I’m not generalizing lahat ng positive at di ko ren sinisisi sila for having HIV kase nga there’s no way of telling . . . . It’s just a matter of being 100% safe all the time.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Di ko na learn kung anechiwa pa ang ichichika kez . . . I don't know kung may magagawa iteyckla or whatever . . . . pero yun lang ang masasabi ko . . I hope my message gets across . . . Let's be safe mga sisters and brothers . . . . mura lang ang condom . . . bente-singko pesos lang . . tatlo pa . . . . and for positives . . . . nobody's preventing them from having sex naman at all . . . just keep it safe . . . and keep those people that you’ll have sex with informed.

Wag tayong maging bitter . . . wag tayong maging harsh . . . . le's think positive!



Original comments posted:

Comments posted on badinggerzie.blogspot.com:

nakakalurkey naman yan.tama ka naman jan. hindi justifiable na dahil nahawa ka ng sakit ay ihahawa mo na din. its bad enough na na positive ka, why spread it?? kaloka..kaya mga ateng, safe sex is the way to go! go go go for the gold!
jay | 03.05.07 - 9:38 am | #

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true. and since HIV takes a couple of months (weeks or years to others, depending on the leve of one's immunity), a lot of those who contracted the virus are asymptomatic (not showing symptons) and the only time they find out about it is when the virus infection becomes full-blown AIDS.

compounding this problem is the lack of HIV/AIDS awareness campaign in the country. and there are a number of factors contributing to this. for one, the church is not very keen on supporting the use of condoms. then you have politicians and the society in general turning a blind eye on the issue. and then you have our brothers and sisters who refuse to even discuss the topic.

i agree bernz. i feel bad for our brothers and sisters who got infected. they didn't ask for this. nobody did and nobody wants it. but if you have it, please don't be an instrument of its spread. on the contrary, pave the way to enlighten everyone that this is a serious matter that the nation must address.

i do not know what a positive person is going through right now, living with something that will eventually take his or her life. i can't pretend that i do know. but i believe that it's a hard thing to live with and i sympathize with their plight.

there is no 100% protection from STDs other than abstinence. and since absitence is hardly possible for most of us, then at least be safe when getting into the scene. if you can't feel the satisfaction with rubber, then be monogamous, you and your partner.

the choice is in each of us. undetected HIV that becomes full-blown AIDS gives you at most 9 months to live. early detection with ongoing medication gives you 10 to 20 more years, depending on your reaction to the medication. either way, being positive is not something to scoff at.

i still believe there is a cure, maybe not in this lifetime. but until there is a cure, each of us, whether positive or not, should do our share to keep the virus at bay.
icarus926 | 03.05.07 - 12:56 pm | #

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Tell your friend to visit the Tropical Disease Foundation. It's funded by the World Health Organization and Anti-retroviral drugs are provided for free. I'm also HIV+ but I don't believe in infecting others. I got three times. The first time it was negative. But the second and third were positive. So now, I'm under treatment. The treatment is very effective, but I almost developed full BLOWN AIDS.

Imagine, I've been really careful. But there are several ways that the virus can be transmitted. I still got it. So guys! Stick to one partner lang if you have to. I think I might have had it for years, it was just asymptomatic. Regular screening is important.

For more information email me at hivpositivemanila@gmail.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

I want to keep my name anonymous. But I'm willing to help anyone who seeks for it.
HIV | 03.06.07 - 7:35 pm | #

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Oh yes, the Tropical Disease Foundation is in Makati Med. They'll be opening an HIV clinic soon!

That's good news!

Thanks to people in the European Union and the Bill Gates foundation. They're allowing free medicines.

Anti-retroviral drugs can cost up to P100,000.00 a month without foundations like that.
HIV Positive but not bitter | 03.06.07 - 7:55 pm | #

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Nkakahawa ba yung HIV pag tsinupa ka?
gulat | 03.06.07 - 10:09 pm | #

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hello for the past week during my break at the office wla me ginawa kundi basahin ang blog mo. Im real girl nacurious sa mga bading at nasurf ko blog mo. Dati feeling ko yukky mga bading but after reading your blog nawala. Sabi ko nga sa New Zealander ko na officemate para pala kyo real girl if mag-express ng feeling.
You have done well expressing your feelings thru this blog.
Youre really good.
nzgirl | 03.07.07 - 6:55 am | #

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I know it's kind of sensitive but I have to ask - what do you plan on doing about Paul? Knowing that he's spreading the disease willfully to get even with the person who infected him - don't you think that you've taken on a responsibility (albeit unwillingly) to either talk to him to stop spreading it or talk to someone who can do something (as in, something concrete, ha).. Thanks
Homie | 03.07.07 - 7:42 pm | #

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HIV positive but not bitter -> you go! bilib naman ako sa yo. thats the right attitude. ibang level ka. hope i cud talk to you sometime.

nzgirl -> i appreciate that nabago ang pagtingin mo sa mga bading. mahirap naman kasing magstereotype.

homie - > i completely understand you concern . . but the thing is . . i am not that close to paul . . he is a friend of a friend . . . . and like what i said . . witchelles niya noseline na noseline kong positive siya . . . haaay. honestly. i dont know what to do. the least i did was . . told rica .. to tell him na . . hindi tama yung ginagawa niya.
badinggerzie | Homepage | 03.07.07 - 8:59 pm | #

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positive, normal, negative, minus.....same....sex.....be gay... and happy.
egay | 03.08.07 - 2:54 am | #

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I think Rica should, at the very least, give feedback to Paul about your concerns (shared with the other readers here) about spreading HIV to "get even".

Even if Paul disagrees that exposing others to a deadly virus is an irresponsible and selfish act, at least he's been told--hopefully firmly--about it. Maybe one day he'll change his mind.
McVie | Homepage | 03.08.07 - 8:04 am | #

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true ka ate!

safe sex always dapat ang drama.

sa panahon ngayon, bawal magkasakit.

andyan ang virus pro keri naman nating gumawa ng paran para hindi natin ito ma-haves.

kay paul, darkness sya. yun lang.
eon | Homepage | 03.08.07 - 5:01 pm | #

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OMG, scaredness naman kasi parang we're staring at HIV right in front of us na pala minsan tapos hindi natin alam. Feeling kasi natin we're invincible. No discrimination whatsoever. It's just scary lang talaga iyong sakit. Hope we find a cure. Hay. OMG din iyang paula na iyan ha...
evolve | 03.09.07 - 2:21 am | #

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5 mL of any body fluid pag napasa sayo, doom. HIV
okla | 03.11.07 - 8:49 am | #

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The growing number of HIV-infected people in the country may also be due to the lack of awareness. I used to work for WHO, and until now I stand by my opinion that even if you flood the clinics of free medication, if the people are not educated about the hard facts of HIV/AIDS and how it is contracted, it's no use. The donors will just have to donate more meds.
Redjeulle | Homepage | 03.12.07 - 8:51 am | #

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i wonder... hindi ba pwedeng i-report sa DOH ang nangyayari/ginagawa ni Paul? Alam ko, walang enough proof.. pero siguro kung may mag-i-intervene for him baka magliwanag pa ang pananaw nya.

...or something like that, vah...
ate sienna | Homepage | 03.12.07 - 12:02 pm | #

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natakot ako bigla sa hiv postive guy na un

pano kung naksex ko na un?

tsk tsk!

safe sex tlga dpat lagi or better yet abstinence

magshow na lang sa cam nyeta!

nice blog btw
turismoboi | Homepage | 03.15.07 - 10:28 pm | #

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Bigla ako natakot. But thanks for posting that entry, Mareng Bernadette. Salamat din sa mga nagpost ng comments sa itaas. I admire your courage and willingness to help other people.
Housewife | Homepage | 03.18.07 - 1:28 am | #

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malorkey naman akesh
emman | Homepage | 03.22.07 - 2:12 am | #

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scariness itu
pero may solution
bryan | Homepage | 03.22.07 - 4:27 am | #

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hi badinggerzie. share ko lang, im based here in canada for over a year now, just a few weeks back sa news dito, me ilang individuals ang nakulong for 5-10 years for inflicting the HIV various through unrprotected sex esp if its intentional. Im sure wala pang ganyang law sa atin, pero im really hoping na magkaroon din. I tried to understand Paul's side regarding his actions, pero kahit anong gawin ko, i cant find any valid reason kung bakit kailangan nyang manghawa. I pity those people na possibleng nahawahan na nya ngayon. bottomline, practice safe sex talaga. yun lang, hehehhe :D
rayms | 03.23.07 - 9:50 am | #

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PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. THIS IS A DANGEROUS SCENARIO. IM A NURSE AND THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH MANDATES US TO REPORT EVENTS LIKE THIS THAT WILL ENDAGER THE HEALTH OF THE GENERAL PUBLIC. IT IS A CLEAR AND A PRESENT DANGER. IT WILL REALLY BE A BIG HELP TO THE GAY COMMUNITY IF YOU DIVULGE THE COMPLETE NAME OF PAUL SO THAT HIS INTENTION OF HARMING OTHERS CAN BE CONTAINED... PLEASE,MALI ANG GINAGAWA NYA NA PAGHAWA SA IBA. IF YOU DO THIS, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SAVE MANY LIVES.
ely | 03.28.07 - 6:58 am | #

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